4 minute

right track baby I was born this way. 

Almost everything annoyed the hell out of me today. Maybe because I'm PMSing. Nah... Its like over already for this month.. 

Well, I don't know whether was it my problem, but I was really very annoyed at assembly today.

Then another thing is, I really hate it when people make so much noise in class when I'm just trying my best to listen and urgh. Although its not as noisy as my previous few classes, but still, I really hate it. I know I can't keep quiet for a few seconds but at least, I don't shout across the class like its the coffee shop that every uncle and aunty do so. 

Okay, much annoyed me for the rest of the day. Really annoying. Including the cereal I ate. It was gross. I was hoping for special K yogurt in my drawer for my cereal today. But it was strawberry special K and it was sour and feels disgusting. So I decided to take the nut cereal on the table but it was quite weird. Seems that its not for milk but its for hot water. But never mind, its fine. Makes me feel healthy since its all nuts and there was the flex seed so I can shit tonight or tomorrow and get all my dirty particles in my body cleansed out. 

Alright, so yesterday, I was making notes for history and it took my like years to make notes. I'm moving on to SS today before going back to geography. Geography is going to be hell time because its the whole rivers chapters and there is the hydrograph and all the crap that I studied. Well, I predict Geography CA2 will be a killer one. Topics I predicted that to be tested, Impacts on Vulcanicity, Earthquake and Rivers. I only got earthquake notes done up and I feel so sadistic studying sadistic things. The Japan Earthquake. ):

Talking about the Japan Earthquake, its quite sad.. Well, we shouldn't blame anyone about the Japan earthquake because its neither the nuclear plant companies fault not is it mother nature's fault or the government's fault. Its also not the geologists fault for not predicting the tsunami. Its not like they are some Earth Reader.. If they are, they would know what to do to stop the earthquake, to stop the tsunami.  Yeah and also nuclear plant companies shouldn't be blamed at all. Because it wasn't the earthquake that affected it, it was the tsunami and when everything is going well, people say nothing but when there was the tsunami, yeah, all complain la. Nothing to do want to blame is it. In the first place have nuclear plants for what. Technology is so advance, I'm sure our beloved scientists and chemists can come out with something better. AND NOT BURN FOSSIL FUELS (dead body - to Sharlene Lee who claims that can burn dead body to get electricity) 

Okay, I shall start working on my SS notes. 

Bye! 

Firstly, yesterday was rather fine. Just that the march totally gave me a shock. In fact, culture shock. Don't forget to mention MANY AFTER SHOCKS. The mam was so fierce. Okay, I sound like a spoilt brat. But whatever I'm saying, is true. I think our commanders should be as strict as the person in-charge.  Next, I thought since I was sec three, I knew most of the commands. But in fact, some, I don't even know what is it. And also, they way they said was all muffled up or there is this huge pause. Tension and sweat starts tickling down my face and my spine. Another scary thing is that THEY MARCHED SO FAST! Ah, I think my timing is like slower than a turtle. So basically the whole thing was a culture shock. Another thing I was like disappointed with was they sort of wanted to make the shorter ones opt out but since we were there, they just shuffled us in among the tall ones. In the first place, they should have a height limit right? I mean, its really mean to us you know, we are here in honor for our companies. 

So Yifen came to my house at around 3pm and we did homework. After 2 years of wanting to come, her wish was granted. And so, we left the house at like 5.15pm and ate dinner before training to Serangoon. Damn, we should have just taken the bus from my house. At Serangoon, we didn't even know which direction we should go! So we were 'lost'. But the Zhong hua campfire was great. I love their gateway and all. I seriously think we should get song books. The campfire songs we know are very limited. So limited that its so pathetic. Okay, then makes me bring to the next point... Will grey badge '12 have their campfire? Will we be able to plan their own camp? I really really really really hope that we can plan our own camp. I DON'T WANT CAMP CHRISTINE. IT DEFEATS THE PURPOSE OF US BEING ABLE TO HOLD A CAMPFIRE. AND PLANNING OUR OWN CAMP, PITCHING OUR OWN COOL TENTS BECAUSE WE HAVE TO CARRY EVERYTHING OVER. NEITHER DO I WANT TO SLEEP IN DORMS.

Catechism today was fine. TRUST IN GOD. So I'll trust in God that we will be able to hold our camp on the school group. I don't even mind if we don't take 'o'levels at the new school compound. Its just aircon. The green badge can do it, why are we so pampered to have aircon rooms, good science labs, good track and sitting toilet. I know its very selfish. But... yeah. I'm sure God will know whats best for my badge. But one thing I'm sure is that we are too pampered. Like what Mrs Gurung said. How are we going to survive in the future this way? So what if our results are like woah. coolness. ? So pampered that we can't even sit on toilet bowls when we pee? After hearing what Mrs Gurung say, Whitely Secondary school used that compound before us in a worser condition... -___- and they had no complains. While ours was slightly renovated and we still complain. We, suck. 

I was told that my blog is very wordy. Indeed. And I don't intend to change much about the way I blog because I'm the one who is reading and reviewing it some time later and think about my life and not for people to read word for word and make weird comments. But even so, this is cyberspace. Its open for everyone and anyone to read. But, I prefer a serious one instead. And not one full of short forms and colours. Wasting my time yeah?

This week was a really busy one. ): Actually no. I shitted last night and diarrheal this morning. So basically, I took ultra carbon pills which Amanda believes that it will turn your poop into constipated shit. As for the past few days, I felt lethargic. Like as if nothing is running through me. Eyes drop and close in class. Holding up, trying to stay awake is no joke. 

Well, there is an accomplishment though. I finished AM 8, 9 and 11. Which was a good improvement. For now, I owe Mrs Seah 3 more AM homework. Adding on the recent MA homework, its 4 homeworks. Well, it improved from 6 to 4. In fact, I did AM 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 since like before holidays. But its not completed at all. Its in a mess. So for the past 2-3 days, I managed to pack up all that shit, transfer to a nice new piece of paper for Mrs Seah to see and tada! Completed 8, 9 and 11. Eh, because I know how to do and I saw the light "ALLELUIA" 

Guides was rather fine today. Tentage FTW (: 

...and tomorrow, will most probably the busiest day I might ever have. Actually busiest saturday when everything crashed. Initially, before I know about the Campfire at Zhong Hua secondary school, I volunteered to help morning star out on Saturday. And then before about the morning star and campfire, my mum arranged a facial for me which crashed with Centenary march thing. 

Alright, I better complete my homework before I get busy tomorrow. Bye! 

OMGOMG. And wait, the children are not affected by the earthquake even though they felt tremors. Thank god for their safety and lets all pray for the world. 

TOGETHER as one, UNITED we stand, WE GIVE YOU the best

I seriously think sec 3 camp was rather a good camp. It was kind of slacker than guides camp (of course) but kind of boring because it was raining. On the first day, it was actually rather fine. Just that I was dozing off since I woke up really early and slept really late the night before. Flag making and all was great and the flag was really pretty. Then after that was like lunch- yummeh food. But I dislike about the washing part. But since its a camp, thats how life is like. Followed by rock climbing which I suck at. But of course, its all about whats in your mind. Following by some climbing over the wall games and rebirth which was all about team work and co-operation which was rather interesting because we had to trust other people. By that time at around 5pm, we were all sticky and sweaty. But Amanda, Jing Wen and I didn't bathe. But we didn't stink up the room either... I hope? Then was dinner which was extra yummy. But eating in 5minutes leads to indigestion. Because I couldn't Shit. At night was campfire preparation. Whoa, everyone trying their best to know the song. But to me, Marry you wasn't a good song to sing. Some how... But since its a class thing and they wanted to... Its fine.

Supper was even yummy. We had cake? O: Then was night time. Ah, my desired moment was here. Don't think wrongly please. The next day, breakfast was nasi lemak. Quite nice and then was games. The water bomb thing where we formed alliances with one another among our groups and all. It was some strategy game that we had to hit away all the newspaper on the group we are against. Thats my most favourite game because I like to throw and aim things. But at the same time I feel damn bad for wisdom. Its like everyone so chiong. I don't know why either. Their defenders are really cool. I guess, if it were me, I will most probably shun. Lunch was another awesome meal followed by another almost similar games. Its hardcore throwing but its not water bomb. Its plastic balls. We had to tie a raft and all. Phew, I could tie the diagonals fast. (: After that was orientation game where we used the compass. It was tough. How embarrassing for a pure geog student... So the whole day was about modifying strategies to manage to achieve what we want or our target. Also, its about teamwork. After that was bathing. washed my hair at common area. (I finally bathed after getting all wet) Then queued to get into the shower. I don't get why some people can take 20minutes and 不要滚出来。5minutes is all we need. Or at most 7minutes. =.= dinner was so nice. Ate like a pig. And after that, was campfire! Whoo! 自己high. And when they play songs like dynamite, like a g6 and all. 3U starts going crazy. Gah, love it. Other than Amanda and her manly stuff. :P I somehow predict that 5 years down the road, we will all go clubbing as one. We better not. But finally, mad friends who go crazy, dance and go OH YEAH! At night, did reflections and slept.

I couldn't wake up in the morning and was too tired. Area cleaning was quite fun. Previous school, HCI was gross. Their area cleaning = not even clean. Wet tissues under the hut and all. And some huts, the ones opposite us, were really messy. After that, went home after all the debrief and all.
Yup, thats all about it. I love magic box. Its so fun! And addictive.

I LOVE 3UNITY <3

Its WanChai enjoying his life. Little Wanchai sure misses iPhone. Oh well, I got to stop looking at the watch and subtract one hour. I got to snap back and come back to reality.
Somehow, life still goes on as per normal for us. Back to the really stressed environment.
And there is sec 3 camp tomorrow. Half of me want to go. And half of me don't want to go.
Reason being, I haven't even finish my homework!

Yesterday, I was with Amanda at the guides house doing CIP (cashier work) and it was really fun! :D Then again, I kept thinking about Chiang Rai. Then today, was church. I kept thinking about the kids attending mass almost the same time at me but at a different country, many miles apart. Chiang Rai withdrawal symptoms. So bad. Worse than anything else. Worse than phone withdrawal, I don't even have any symptom for that. When my phone have a problem, I'll just turn to books and start reading them.

Now, the world is in great disaster. Today's class was talking about faith. So what does faith mean to me? Mrs Gurung's line hit me. Do I faith to meet my creator? So why should I worry about the Earth ending if I have faith in my creator. To be truthful, I don't have much faith in meeting my creator. I don't live my life to the fullest. I don't keep myself free from worries. 1 day after Chiangrai, I kept thinking yes, I will learn to love. Its not so easy after all. To be able to love people takes years. Gah.

I'll be back 3 days later. see ya then! (:

Hey, Chiang Rai, I think I wanna marry you, if we will meet again as I'll be back.

Hey all. I'm back from Chiang Rai. (; Miss me? Yes. Say yes because I bet you do. 

My feelings in overall: At first I was kind of uncertain of this trip. Firstly, as a texting and computer maniac, I will have to not use any of those or not use it all the time for about 6 full days. I was also uncertain because it is my first trip without my parents and I'm scared. ): Next, No shopping and movie marathon. Yup. But after meeting the children at the home and like playing with them, I realised, I was really fortunate and how paranoid I was just because of not being able to facebook and text all day. -__- They could basically, survive without a phone and instead, spend their time playing games and talking to each other. The kids, too do not have enough money to shop and watch movies. I doubt that there is even a cinema. Besides, eating ice cream is like unending joy or blessing that God has given them. I really want to go at the end of this year and every year like some people who were with us. After seeing the kids enjoying the simplest thing in life, I seriously wonder, Why do I worry all the time? Eating icecream = gaining fats = no free icecream. Why do I have to think so much all the time and feel uncertain in the first place? The kids don't even complain about their life and why do we have to complain about ours? Farming was fun too. Dude, don't despise farmers. It was really great farming. Like after clearing all the land and all. Its like the home don't farm for themselves. Sister Bernard actually decided to like farm and sell so that she can support the home. Besides, I feel more accomplish than getting an A1 for Chemistry. I mean, really. I'm serious. Reason being its all about helping them. Clearing land after land. Its not all about me and me and me and my good results and me, benefiting my ownself. Its about benefiting 75 hungry children. 

The happenings...

 Saturday 12 March 2011

(from the plane flight, all were bullshit. Took pictures all the way and sat with Vivian on the plane. Food was great) 

It all began like this, I reached the place at 12mid night. The teenage kids came and greet us. Our dormitory was well cleaned up and ready for us to use. Our toilet was so polished. After unpacking our rubbish, and all, changing to shorts, brushing our teeth. We were all ready to embrace the coolness, the cuddly blankets, the hard pillow (with our pillow) and slept at probably 2am Thai time. So it was actually Singapore 3am. So late right? Oh, I forgot to say, father drove us to the home and it was a 2hour journey. It was really bumpy. Before that, he brought us to buy prepaid, go big c to buy stuff for the little kids and provisions for ourselves. We bought loads of food and balls and all. Spent almost like 1000 bht there. <<<<<<<
So cool right... Yes, I know.

Sunday 13 March 2011

Rise and Shine babe. The rooster made so much noise at 5am that I woke up and stoned till 6am before washing up. Breakfast was at 8am and followed by mass. BREAKFAST WAS SO FREAKING GOOD. Its like finger linkin' good. It was then followed by mass which was really good too. In Thai and in English. Looking at the children singing loudly and everything... Vehement voices, sincere heart, seriously, the kids are really amazing. In Singapore, we don't even sing. After that was sister bernard talking to us, followed by lunch with my buddies, DUANG JAN AND MONGKHUN! After that was a hardcore game session and little kids like titichai run so fast! GOSH! Then after that was R&R and wenxin and I slept for like 30minutes and then bathed by washing hair at the sink! Then was dinner and followed by reading programme and all. 

I found the people there really try things from the bottom of their heart, enjoying the simplest thing in life.. But then, why can't we?

Monday 14 March 2011

Its a beautiful day, when the rooster cocks. (in a tune of marry you). Had breakfast and started farming! I feel so buff and macho because I get to hold the thing and help the kids with their chores by clearing the weeds since its farming season. So the kids were like laughing at me? ): But never mind! If I would live that day all over again, I want to farm more. And help the kids complete their chores, so sister Bernard can farm and sell the food and use the money to give children treats and for their education. At night was playing games and the dishes was so fun! We went out to the provision shop nearby in the afternoon and.... the things there were really cheap. I didn't buy much though.

Tuesday 15 March 2011

We went to the village childcare center and played with the little kids. They were so cute and the village childcare center was quite poor thing and all because the kids are so deprived of playing and the condition was so run down. ): Then after that, we went to the village school to give the books and saw a naked boy! Then we sang songs for the old people and gave provisions to them. Xenia and I went into their house and we felt really fortunate because we have proper conditions while they don't. Which was quite sad. The light = might was well, don't switch on. The stove was wood and all. The bed was not bed. Its wood. After that, when we went back, we started farming and then we cleared almost everything but there were thorns and it kind of hurt. It started pouring and then we washed up. How about blasting music on loud speakers and dancing in the toilet? At night, we chatted with our buddies and became 'pedos'. I love reading programme. It make me feel like crying because the children actually TRY their very best to learn English, to try pronounce the words, to try remember the words. Another thing, nature keeps calling me! That night, sam, vivian and I choreographed Marry you for finale night. And it was like a joke. :|

Wednesday 15 March 2011

I FINALLY SHITTED. I was quite disappointed that it rained really heavily that day because I wanted to go to the Laos market. But this gives us more time to prepare for a good show for finale night. My group too had difficulty choosing song for second item even though first item is done up. So we then finally managed to chose one and choreograph it before dinner. And we all didn't bathe. Gross and dirty pigs because it was so cold. But we changed and used wet wipes. Reading programme was great and if I could live my day all over again, I hoped that it will not rain and that I want to play with little kids. 

Thursday 16 March 2011

It was the last night in Chiang Rai. It rained the whole day that we didn't get to do much. The kids put up the great show and I hope we, too put up a great show for the kids. It was really sad. Even though my buddies and I didn't talk much but finally managed to get a warm hug and even cheeky MongKhun 2 was willing to smile and finally take a nice picture with me. I can tell that the kids put in a lot of effort. Even the break dance to sorry sorry. It was really great! I learnt to be really appreciative. I feel that they appreciate the slightest thing in life whereas I don't. Sister talked to us, its all about LOVE. LOVE is so great that we are willing to do many things. Its so easy to love the children there but is it so easy to love the people back in Singapore no matter how annoying they are? It was really touching when the kids and sister came round to hug us and all. Duang Jan told me in english don't cry. And my mongkhun 2 gave me a fish balloon and asked me to play with him. It was so touching. I just started crying when sister came to hug me and she is so warm and loving. As humble as ever. Many things happen with the word LOVE. I would really want to play the games (if you realised, I don't play the games) because I like to see the kids laughter and how they enjoy themselves. If I could turn back the clock.... (shit, I'm starting to get teary and all now) 

On my last day, that very morning... Bye Chiang Rai. hugged my buddies, waved to my buddies like crazy doing the ILOVEYOU sign and all... Off I go back to Singapore. 

Chiang Rai'11. I'll miss you so much. So so much because I have learnt a lot from the word LOVE, I have learnt how to appreciate the slightest thing in life. I learnt so many things that I can never learn in Singapore despite countless of community involvment project I do, despite how many service learning I do. I learnt many dirty secrets of Wenxin that my eyes burn every night. Sam's fart. Lizzie's problem of not being able to shit. Sister's warm hug. The children's sly moves in playing monkey. Ponsak and Vuttichai high score in playing fruit ninja. Using a cat as the net while playing badminton. And everything. If I have the chance. I'll go up to Chiang Rai at the end of the year and accompany the kids for 1 week. I'll farm for all I want. I'll wash the dishes and bump butts and sing songs with Sam, Wenxin and Vivian and many many other people. I'll spam the word 'tai roup' (take picture), 'lor'(handsome), 'narak' (cute) and 'suai'. (pretty) I'll do everything and even help the villages and little kids. Some day, I hope, this year, I'll go back there.

I guess, the kids are going to sleep now. Hope they don't feel cold, have a good sleep and nice dream. Be full and all. Its bed time. 

HAHA. Before I fly off to Chiang Rai in like about officially less than 1 day's time but more than 12 hours time, I'm here to say, TERM 1 has ended. 

So I ended my term with an explosive reaction of my 'awesome' ppr. I had no reaction to my PPR because I counted that it would be fine. Or perhaps below my expectations since I expected all B4s or B3s in my PPR. Now I see C5s and a F9, a D7 and an A1. -__- L1R5 can't even make it to JC! Basically, it was partially my fault. I do homework and I took like 4hours to do math. Math have been my weakest subject since like primary school. B for PSLE. So I haven't expected much for math. Then as for Physics and Chem, I think I did rather fine but I think I can do better? And for pure geog, it was so bad... Either I the cause of it was didn't make notes or blind me read question wrongly. Then as for ss, I think I could have done better if the 2nd factor was written exactly. Mr Wong said that I didn't do well because I wasn't able to crap out the second factor like the name. 

But what is done, is done. I can't do anything to change it. I just got to buck up next term. I freaking shouldn't touch my phone during lesson. -____- I shall keep it in my bag? IDK. And do cow's "consistent studying". Her L1R5 is really like kaboomz. 7. Reading textbook every night. -__- I'm MAKING NOTES. Even though, I'm wasting paper. 

After school was the fun one. :D But before that, I had to face the terrible horror of my HISTORY PAPER. I did perfectly fine for the first essay but for the second essay. The whole page was IRRELEVANT. Written there and so... I failed my second essay. 

Then there was my long waited AFTER SCHOOL! Asked Ms Lye and Mr Wong to donate money to the orphanage at Chiang Rai and they were really generous like uhm $10 each? O: Then after that, met Sharlene, Beatrice, Grace and Xenia and we played Soccer! With some ELDDS girls and Melina, Lynnette and JingMei. It was like 4 of us (Me, Sharlene, Xenia and grace) vs 7 of them and we won. It was so fun, yet so tiring. 

Then was tentage during guides! Did with COY 2 and then when we broke into groups, Beatrice, Me, Amanda, Abigail and Vanessa were in one group. We did the tentage within like 21minutes. So we exceeded by 6 minutes which wasn't really good. D: Because we only have like 12-15minutes to do in the competition! But our strategy was great. I was out of breath by the end of 21 minutes I was running all over the place to mallet all the place. Need to train more. :D At first we were like rather slow when we did as COY 2 as a whole But I think its because we no strategy and some of us forgotten tentage. short term memory. D: 

Yup, some form of accomplishment. All I want to say is to thank god for blessing me this term and helping me overcome all the stress. And thank god for letting more pimples grow on my forehead so that I can show my parents that I'm stressed. And thank god that I didn't fail my English! Lastly, thank god for letting me go Chiang Rai and I hope that it will be a great and safe mission trip!

See ya all on the 18th or the 19th of March.

Chinese Heritage center was rather interesting today but the guy was speaking in Chinese so quickly that I couldn't catch much so it was kind of sad. D:

So I got back my combined humanities. And I failed. I bet it is the I NEVER WRITE SUCCESSES OF LEAGUE OF NATIONS. So I kind of failed that paper. :| Plus, I didn't exactly memorise the date. 

Gah, so I decided to learn from my mistake. 

NOT ONLY STUDY THE CONTENT (Memorise the dates), PLEASE WRITE FASTER, LINK BETTER, DON'T IGNORE THE OTHER SIDE OF THE QUESTION WHEN YOU HAVE NO TIME.

Yes. I'm going to work really hard.

I have a busy schedule next 2 weeks.

12-18 March -Chiang Rai

21-23 March- Sec 3 camp

I'm bursting with a lot of excitement for both. :D Extreme excitement. 

Happy birthday Amanda! (:

Today was rather fine. Just that weird things happen. First, I attended mass with Caissa. Then after mass, met Sharlene! And we waited outside our classroom. Because CC1 was having their class. And we were disturbing Aron, our facile last year, who is my brother's catechism teacher because he insisted on stacking the chairs up! 

Then so we chatted and camp outside our classroom with Louisa, and Mag. Uh, said hi to Ben since he waved? :\ After that, during lesson we played this game about lent. Like how much we know about lent and we had to think about what we are doing for lent. 

Speaking frankly, ash Wednesday is this Wednesday and I'm not out with what I'm going to do for lent. That time for reflection, I really didn't know what was I going to do this time round.

Since there is 1 week during lent that I'm not around and instead, I'll be at Chiang Rai doing my mission trip. So that was 'sacrificing' one week of free time? But.. I really wanted to go mission trip ever since Mrs Gurung mentioned it. And not like I'm going to 100% go study during the holidays. I would just waste my time away doing stupid things and wasting time. 

Alright, apart from that, I'm going to abstain from CHAWANMUSHI. My favourite of all time :D I think so far, thats all.

So after that, Sharlene, Geraldine, Jonas and I went to J8. On the way, Jonas was laughing at my pathetic results while looking through my amath paper and I was trying to clear some concepts which that uncle wasn't really able to clear either. -__- Then went to photocopy some stuff $9.20 worth of papers. Joined Sharlene and Geraldine for lunch. :D And went to popular to buy Amanda's present. 

Hello Carnation Kng, I'm granting your wish for an update about my life.

Today was HOMEWORK DAY!

Actually, it wasn't really homework day. I did speech early in the morning and I can't stand people complaining about speech on facebook. Yes, I know it is hard. But to me, speech is really easier than narrative and descriptive. Besides, the paper was given to us with 3 pointers there. I don't see how hard elaborating is. -___-

I'm not worried about the content and the grammar. But for impromptu speech, the thing I fear is the audience. Audience is one of my greatest fear. No. I should narrow down the thing I really fear of. Audience is too vague. Since impromptu speech is to the class, and its graded, there is the teacher..... I'm afraid of... 

I'm fine with speaking to a group of people of my age or about my age. But when there are ADULTS around or people older than me around, sorry, I really can't. I would not start but I would stare, stammer and stutter. Maybe I would laugh and decide to head to the washroom and hide away from the whole class. Its my own natural reaction. Or you would actually realise, my eyes will be in an unfocused manner. I wouldn't wear my spectacles when I give my speech. I would seem to be searching for something whenever I stand in front of a group of people listening to me talk. 

Okay, enough of my fear. I did my math so for my amath homework 7, 8 & 9, I only did the first 2 questions. And the third one is full of strikes and correction tape. I then decide to revise geography but it was quite a failure because the computer was a distraction. I decided to leave the computer on because  as I study geography, I would require some stuff like maps on the net in order to understand the maps in my textbook and the slides. The slides full of short forms and small diagrams. I'm off to study. 

Sometimes, I really wonder... Why am I joking around all the time? Why is it so hard to get serious. Why am I so playful? Why do I have really short attention span? Why do I fear somethings so much? 

Last night, I had a painful nightmare. I dream about my amath paper and that it was really really badly done. At 1am, I was breathing in and out so hard. I know I was awake. But then, it felt like I was among a lot of people. I kept telling myself its only a dream. The next moment, I was back into my sleep and the story continued. Then I tried my very best to stay awake the next day. Which was rather a failure. Nothing was going into my mind and in fact, bloodshot eyes in the morning. Amath haunted me so badly. Even my previous weird nightmares about other things weren't bad until I wake up breathing in and out so badly. 

I like to joke around and basically, I laugh at the simplest things. For example, the tap in the chemistry lab that made me vibrate when I'm leaning against the table writing, I was literally vibrating and it generated my need to go to the toilet. Then, the next moment, because of that, I started laughing. Now thinking back, I don't see what so funny about that. But it was just really funny. Then during free period, I was talking Amanda and En Le. Then I don't know what, I was laughing. I even jumped up when I accidentally slammed the door too hard then I start laughing. Now thinking back, why did I even laugh in the first place? Is it that funny? By the way, if I was mean when I joke, I'm sorry kay. D:

I have extreme short attention span. If you realised, I walk around in class. Especially when you ask me to throw rubbish, I will me "YES!" And I'll go and throw rubbish. I walk to and fro like its my home. See. You realise my short attention span. 

And I realised, I get annoyed easily. At the simplest things. Especially when I can't stand certain things. I may not appear in front. But inside, deep down, I'll go #!%!#$!%!. And try to control in the surface.. Urgh. 

Mrs Seah is quite nice you know. She is the kind soul that is willing to come down after school just to teach amath. Just to make up the lesson, Sam, Vivian and I missed. Gah, I cannot let her down and must do well for the next math and amath test. I got to do something about it. 

Careers education workshop was great today. 

So my personality is mainly I. Which means my characteristics are influencing, interacting, inducing, inspring, have interest in people (???) and instinctive sales-person. I don't know how true is this. But I know the weaknesses. At least 3/4 is true. Inattentive and poor with detail, really short attention span. Yeah, the only ones that are true... Uhm, strengths are outgoing, enthusiastic, optimistic and talkative. Then again its quite true. I have like 0 for the 'D' personality type and 'C' personality type! AHH. And For the 'S' personality type, I have only 4 out of 20. -___-

None suits me except difficulty establishing priorities. 

And the job I wanted was to be a social worker, counselors, event planners from 'S'. And I want to be a DENTIST, photographer, computer programmer from 'C'. I have nothing from C and yet, all the jobs I like are from C. -__- Nothing else from the 'I' and 'D'. 

Conclusion: I REALLY WANNA BE A DENTIST. ): That fixes people's teeth. And if not be a counselor or a social worker. 

Dentistry. :P

http://www.dentistry.nus.edu.sg/academic/ug_entry.html

WAHAHHA. Sounds so hard. D: 

And as for social work... 

http://www.fas.nus.edu.sg/swk/undergrad/undergrad_admin_req.htm

Hmmm... then, sociology :\

http://www.fas.nus.edu.sg/soc/undergrad/entry.htm 

http://portal.hss.ntu.edu.sg/sociology/admission.html

OMG EVERYTHING REQUIRES GP PAPER. -___-

Psychology. But this is like the last in my list. 

http://www.ntu.edu.sg/HSS/Psychology/programmes/undergraduate/Pages/Admissions.aspx

and to get into SMU.. http://www.smu.edu.sg/admissions/pages/apply_to_smu/Apply-to-SMU.asp

SMU offers nothing for me. D:

I still have about 4 years more. Gotta work hard! :D 

I failed my uhm... amath? And its not I'm proud that I failed it. But its F9. 

I have almost 0 reactions and feelings to it. Its not that I don't care about it. But, I was too shocked, upset and disappointed about it. 

Reasons to Nicole's failure for amath...

1) Wrong inequality signs

2) cocked eyes

3) careless mistakes from the start of the question. Uhm, copying the questions wrongly.

Then you must be saying, BUT WON'T FAIL UNTIL SO BAD LIKE F9 right! 

The main factor is half the paper, I think I know how to do, but I don't know how to do. =__=

Wait wait. I know how to do! But you know... Half way there is this > or < and the one with the line at the bottom and then after that there is the I DON'T GET THE QUESTION THING half way while doing... And reason for it being a shock: I WAS ABLE TO DO THE 10 YEAR SERIES. But... in 5hours for like 10 questions. 

Another thing was I handed up all my homework properly. But when my homework came back, it was all red crosses, circles and all. So what I did before the paper was analyzing the mistake and trying to do it again. Then I still flunked my amath. 

But I'm glad I didn't fail anything else. I didn't fail anything else. Even though its all like C5 and then 1 A1. I haven't gotten back my history paper but I was hoping for a pass so that I won't have another fail in the PPR as I passed my SS.

My life is in danger now.

But thinking backwards, its my fault for not doing well for CA1.

1) I text when I study even though I'm not using the computer.

2) I'm not concentrating when I'm studying. I'm like staring at my nails, looking at my phone, googling random stuff I was studying like WHAT IS DEVILS TOWER. Because I found it cool.

3) I didn't make notes. I think I can't survive without notes. So I'll make notes.

4) I listen in class! But 1/4 of my soul is missing in action. In my mind "AFTER SCHOOL, IMMA EAT MACS." Great... -___- 

5) I go to the toilet too often. Like every 45minutes?

So... What I'm going to do about my CA2.

1) I'm going to make notes.

2) I'm going to try my best to listen in class.

3) I'm going for remedial and I'M GOING TO CLARIFY EVERY SINGLE DOUBT I HAVE.

4) Divorce my phone.

5) I facebook and twitter less? Procrastinate less too?

I'm going to try to push all my grades up by 1 band and AS FOR AMATH, OMG, JUST PASS IT. I'LL THANK GOD. 

Anyway, I can't wait for my Chiang Rai trip! :D