Time Check

Time Check: Mid-May

It has been almost 4 weeks since I came back from Vietnam and even though I've not found a job, In the blink of an eye, time passed so quickly that I can barely remember what have I done for the last few weeks. So what have I done so far?

1) Interview 1: USP interview update: (offered!!!) 
USP's interview was a little weird. I took 40-45 minutes and I really spoke as much as I could as I really wanted USP because I felt that it will be a good platform for me to improve in my critical thinking. The questions were weird and my answers were probably weirder. But that is the nature of USP. It was an enjoyable interview but the results will tell if I impressed. If I'm not offered, I'm probably going to apply for Utown because I really want to learn to be a critical thinker and I really want to learn how to write properly. Below are some questions they asked me:

• Tell me about yourself (obviously) 
• Is volunteering selfish?
• Is Singapore meritocratic? 
• What is your favourite subject and why?
• How do you feel about Amos Yee? 
• What did you do in CCA?
• Why USP? (This was probably the last question. Perhaps I spoke wayyyyyyy too much.)
• Do you think that you'll be able to cope with the arts subjects?

I can't really remember my answers but I just kept talking, made my interviewers laugh a little and that was all about it. I called my mom after the interview and I realised that I didn't feel that the questions were weird after I stepped out from my interview room! My mom told me that she hoped that I didn't crap excessively because I'm really good at talking a lot (of nonsense) and I told my mom that I hope that my answers were that bad too. HAHA. But I do feel that I could answer better after the interview but I really did all I can during the interview. 

2) Interview 2: MOE TA/TS interview. 
Many of my friends whom I've spoken to know how I felt after the (TA/TS) interview. To earn this interview was what really motivated me in my J2 year. I earned it. Well, it was an interview to remember...I felt that I've to improve a lot more to deserve the TA/TS and I honestly do not have high expectations after the interview.

I believe that I could have done better and that I've to improve to be a firmer person. I didn't feel the pinch until I stepped out of the interview room. The interviewer pointed out my weakness without having me to mention about it. I felt a little upset 2-3 hours after the interview that I did not give myself a chance to perform well in that aspect. I certainly know very well that 'not being firm' is my weakness and I know extremely well that I cannot scold.  But I also know that I'm decent when it comes to ensuring that my homework gets handed in and done up in a decent manner and I know how to question and reason in a way to get my message across. Yet, I didn't show it. Evan once told me that it is obvious that I am not firm. Knowing that myself, I still showed my weakness in my behaviour (I think) and I really have to work on that.

Another reason that I felt that I should have done better was to speak in a more formal manner to redeem my GP grade which they had pointed out during the interview as well. Yupp, I certainly saw that coming. So I'm going to have to work on that because I know that I have a lot to brush up on.

Next, I was distracted. The door opened during my interview as someone knocked the door and I actually stopped talking. Am I supposed to stop talking or keep talking? My interviewer(s) were slightly annoyed(?) as he told me not to be distracted. I felt that it was unfair regarding that point because I felt that it would be rude to have 2 conversations going on in the room. It was an extremely short one between the person at the door and the other interviewer but honestly, I would stop if this happened. Mirroring this to classroom management... How do I manage with noise? Well, anyone who studied with me know that I cannot stand noise and I'll find a way to make life better so that everyone will benefit. Besides, class cannot continue if there's noise. It's unfair to those students who wants to learn. (I know that very well as I'm a victim too.) I mean, as a teacher, you will want your students to listen and gain most from the lesson so you'll stop and do something about it right?

Lastly, what I could have done better was to defend my point better- as sharp as possible because when I was about to rebut my interviewer's point, I probably didn't seem confident enough so before I could say a word, I was told to go back and think about it. Perhaps if I came across more confidently, I would be given a chance to say something.

Well, if its mine, then its mine. I've tried my best and at least I know that my efforts were not in vain as my Alevels and prelims (a chance for TIP) gave me a chance for this interview. How did I then prepare for this interview? I had less than 2 days because I was notified while cycling from ECP to Changi. I had a mock interview with Bona, 2 to 3 questions, read up a little more on policies, reflected about my TIP experience and prepared my answers to the questions that I spot. They didn't ask me much about my TIP like what others had mentioned, hit bulls eye for a policy question and about myself and my views. I could have phrased my answers in a better manner- I spoke too much I guess. I spoke to my mother after the interview and she mentioned that there are many ways to get into the education system and to be the pro-active change agent that I want to be. I can always try again and improve myself to prove my worth. But at this stage, I know that I've done my best and though I regret a little, I'm not looking back. Psychometric Test next week!

3) Watched Dramas
I stopped writing drama reviews because they were meaningless and I'm a tad embarrassed about my drama reviews and my fangirl blog posts. But what have I watched so far after Liar Game... In order.

• Heartstrings 
• Healer 
• Kill me, Heal me (Healer and KMHM were really good.) 
• Blood (Every Tuesday and Wednesday morning) 
• Birth of a Beauty 
• Who Are You: School 2015 (Currently Tues&Wed)
• Sensory Couple (Currently Thurs&Fri) 
• Producer (Currently Sat&Sun) 
• Orange Marmalade (Currently Sat night) 
• Spy (I stopped at 1/4 the drama as it was boring) 

Really... but I moved on to something else... 14/2/15 - now and they're all ongoing so I guess I haven't been watching at a full speed. 

4) Instead, I've been watching Dnews and Test tube 

Dnews and Test tube were the best things that should have happened to me while I was studying for GP. Who knows that someone who was previously nonchalant about news (pre-GP) was hooked from one video to the next video as they go on explaining advances in sci&tech, sci theories, environment, social, and political issues in the world today. Once I was hooked to political ideologies and I spent the next 6 hours wearing my PC spects watching video after video and reading the links they provided in the description box below the video. I was hooked on political ideologies and the reasons for everything that happened which was related to them. 

5) I've been reading books 

I did my first book review. (Refer to the post below) and I'll do more in the future if the book made an impression. Another book I recently read was on 'The Selfish Society' it was a decent book but it was too dry and I wasn't sure what the author was talking about because there were a lot of parenting involved on babies being selfish etc and I think I was lost half way/ it didn't impress so I didn't write my second book review. What I learnt/understood was that the society wasn't that selfish in the past until capitalism and industrialisation were introduced. I was trying not to give up on the book but I gave up in the end, leaving 5 chapters behind. Sorry. 

6) Pick up a new subject- bio

Having no biology background, I had to teach my sec 1 student biology. Well, I had to study biology from somewhere and I can't just feed her with my old sec 1 knowledge 6 years ago. It took a lot of effort (I was procrastinating) to pick up a book on cells in the library and having to go through the basics one by one. Besides that, I had to google what I didn't understand so that I can provide more information to get her interested in studying for her SA1. Bio is really fun but it was quite hard to find a starting ground but I'm interested in learning more- especially proteins etc and DNA. 

7) Pick up a new skill - ukelele

Nah, it isn't a new skill. My skills were really rusty and hence I suggest that it's a new skill. Kidding, I'm just lying to myself. Dug up my ukelele which my juniors gave to me as a present in 2012 and I tried to recall a few chords eventually able to put something together. To conclude, I actually picked up 3 new chords and was able to transit between them smoothly. I learnt to play 2-3 songs too! Not fingerstyle- I have yet to master the guitar one! 

8) Socialising 

What I'm good at- socialising. Met up with many people ever since I came back and did many #nicholidaygoals. - refer to vsco or instagram. 

What is next? 

I'm still unsure of which university I should chose. Both NTU and NUS offered me my first choice- Chemistry. NTU however, has an added bonus with a 2nd major in food sci&tech which I don't really know what it is about. (But it is a second major) There's NUS science faculty open house to head down to next week so I'll probably make my decision after that. I'm more inclined towards NUS but NTU is really convincing. 

After accepting my offer, I'll probably have to do a medical check up and I'll have to start applying for hall/u-town if I do not get into USP. 

Probably, at the same time sign up for faculty orientation? 

I'll have to work towards improving my language which means that I've to read more and to write more.

Perhaps, I've to find a job to earn money as tuition is not enough to sustain me. I'm not charging $40 per hour or something but I'm not earning less than those who charge $40 per hour because I'm gaining experience and I'm constantly trying to improve the way I teach. 

Start exercising... Really. The only thing I did was my 40km cycle to changi and back to ECP. Please do not rain in the evening. ): 

Alright that's all for my reflections for the past month. I remember that I've to write my TIP reflections and I hope that the next few months will be a more meaningful one! 

Inception

Destiny is really a pretty good song. It reminds me of some anime that I watched before though. I think it was 4 years ago or something. I remember 5% of it.

Its been 1-2 weeks after CTs and after getting back all my results, I'm glad to say that I've passed this exam. But the scariest part of it is that... I've no idea how I managed to pass with ABC/BD.
Which was surprisingly better than my MSA results. The fact that promos are merely 8 weeks away makes term 3 feel terrible.
Besides, I had Chinese oral today and I feel okay but I'm really upset cos the examiner kept cutting me off )': and everyone else had 3 questions while I had 2. Well, whatever. Its over and there is still Chinese listening comprehension next week and many lecture tests coming up... PW is creeping on me too.

oh well, basically, term 3 sux. Its a boring term.

Went back to St Nicks on the 5th of July, the Friday after our common tests and caught up with everyone.

 

Back then, life in st nicks was really good. Too comfortable to the extent that I could walk around barefooted just because my shoes were wet... or sitting on 2 benches and aunty would always give me extra food because they know me for 10 years.

Caught up with Amanda Neo and Carnation Kng the most because we haven't seen each other since 5ever and I really wanna meet Vivian. I miss fooling around with Vivian and having Amanda nagging at us or giving us the WTH look. Didn't get to see Ms Yee which made me feel unaccomplished for the entire week because I wanted to tell her about JC chem! hehe and how I got my questions answered in JC. Being someone who ask a lot of questions, life feels good when my questions are answered! [And show her that I've matured a little bit more. Though I'm still as playful as ever.] Ate orange bowl and chicken rice... A lot... I know. But I can't help it. I've been eating orange bowl for 10 years and its my 11th year lol.

 

 

Summing up, my life is reallyyyyy boooorrriinggggggg.

A huge pile of tutorials just dropped on me and hence, I've to go and complete them as soon as possible.

#Nowplaying INFINITEmydestiny

Fire

Its a Tuesday and I know that I shouldn't be updating or even be using the computer.
But I'm forgiving myself because I'm not feeling well and I'm feeling nostalgic and all.
The thought of going back to SN this Friday makes me feel so hyped up because I can't wait to see my beloved juniors and friends.

So for the past week, I've been reaching home past 9pm-10pm almost daily and I swear it was no joke because my tutorials kept piling. On the other side, I've barely nothing exciting this week except Friday.

I was reminiscing the moments when I was in St Nicks while I was listening to some old songs that I listen to during that period.
- Only U by 10cm
- Dazzling girl by SHINee
- Mama by exo
- Boyfriend by Boyfriend
- Live while we're young by one direction
- Beautiful goodbye by Maroon 5
and many more...
It reminds me of those night study session when I stayed in school to study and be productive for 2-3 hours before heading home to sleep. At times, we did many retarded stuff such as walking around barefooted because our feet got wet. There are times when I actually miss eating tau huey and macs with Ayana and Beatrice. Sometimes, I also remember Ms Yee nagging at me to study and me pestering Ms Yee because I simply had to many questions to ask. I do remember me telling Ms Yee cold jokes and pick up lines too.
Those were the pleasant times spent together. I also miss studying with Marissa though she can be quite a pain in the ass (Sorry Mar), Angeline, Sarah, belly, Michelle and everyone else. I really wished that there was SNJC and that we can all go there together. But unfortunately, life sucks and NO, we're not together anymore. :(
There were unpleasant times when things got out of hand well, for me when I felt like giving up and that there was no meaning in life. There was this heated debate and discussion that Marissa and I had on whether what we studied exist and how do we know they exist etc.

During the olevel period...
- Return by Lee Seung Ki.
- Red by Taylor Swift.
- Daylight by Maroon 5.
- Hug me by 10cm
- Bruises by train
- Beautiful by Carly ft Bieber
I recalled Vivian and I doing retarded stuff together well... even before Olevels. Oh and going home together, buying macs and all. I really miss this retarded person. I don't know what gave me the strength to press on but I certainly did and well I didn't score that bad for Olevels. Just that disappointment because I don't have higher Chinese unlike everyone else so I can't go to any better schools. But I'm satisfied with SA ;D

After Olevels...
- 60 Seconds by Sunggyu
- Guy like me by 100%
- I got a boy by SNSD
- Look at me now by yoseob
- Janus by Boyfriend
- Tried to walk by B1A4
- Special girl by Infinite H
Well... that was when I worked. I remember hanging out with Carnation after work.. Well, she was in Taka while I was at scotts and we were hanging out at our favourite Wendy's for like 2hours and only went home at 12am. Then there was the sale when I worked from 7.30am to 12am the next day, caught the last train home, unfortunately not the last bus and basically having my concert while walking home because it was too scary to walk home at 12.30am. And the scariest part was to climb up 15 stories because THE LIFT WAS NOT WORKING at 12.45am coming to 1am okay. This is not funny. What If some pedo decide to jump out of nowhere.
Though I hated working because it restricted me from going out freely, I think I still managed to get off days to hang out with all my friends. Eating Thai Express after work (all of us gathered from center point, scotts and Robinsons raffles city) with Xenia, Lynnette and Vivian. I really miss eating TomYam with Vivian. It is like OUR FOOD. HAHAHA. Because we seem to have many epic moments when we eat Thai Cuisine, speaking of which, I'm craving for Thai food right now. Then there is this hanging out after work or working even though I don't have to work. Okay basically crashing other people's work place and promote stuff there while waiting for them to knock off so that we can go makan together.
OMG I also miss KTV-ing with belly and Vivian, Sharlene and Beatrice.




By the way, I'm totally in love with B1A4 again. The concept is so cheery that it makes me happy and hyped up even while doing math. Sanduel looks like a derp even when he sings and behold my favourite songs off their What's going on album...

• WHAT'S GOING ON
• YESTERDAY

Side note: though I 'mug' I'm not a mugger k :'(
Everyone is calling me a mugger because I do my tutorials and all. Meh. I thought that was my job as a student. Besides I've got a life k. I fangirl, I sleep a lot, watch shows and I go out. I don't camp at home and study all day unlike some people...
Oh and I'm still waiting for the day EXO announces their comeback. :( Its been 6months plus already and B1A4 comeback TWICE. Okay. This is unfair.

why so serious?

I feel that I'm wasting my time...
Though I faired pretty well (not really) for my MSA, I don't see a point in doing something I don't like to do. Its as if I'm forcing myself to do something and trying to make my best out of it because eventually, with these grades, I'll be able to do what I like in the future. But the fact that I really hate my life make me feel like giving up on my ambition and just be a gardener for good. I don't even think I can be a gardener because the subjects that I'm taking is not even gardening-related. -.-
In fact I'm very distracted by many things around me... negatively. I can't adjust to the mix school environment, I can't adjust to having different types of classmates and I can't adjust to the people here in SA. Both Saints Advocate and 13S06. I also can't adjust to the fact that I've to study everyday. I really can't.
I can't just go with the mindset: its just tutorials. and don't do them or I can't do tutorials the day before. There are times when I just wake up in the middle of the night sweating because I didn't finish this certain tutorial or assignment. There are times that I even dream of physics or chemistry and I wake up in the middle of the night going "I know how to do the question already!" This is seriously getting in my nerves because I get tired the next day but I just can't stop this.

I'm gonna be optimistic. I'd rather do something I want to do for the rest of my life and suffer for these 2 years than to enjoy these 2 years and do something I don't want to do for the rest of my life.
Worries aside... I keep forgetting to eat. Sigh... I just remembered that I've forgotten to eat lunch today.
Well... There are many things I want to learn/do.
1) I want to learn tagalog
2) I want to learn bahasa indo
3) I want to learn Korean (fully)
4) I want to learn Vietnamese (fully)
I can't even master Chinese and English properly. ._.
5) learn mamamia fingerstyle on the guitar

6) complete learning the dance for man in love chorus. (I'm half way through ^^ wanted to go biking but the weather IS terrible. So I decided to do something fun!)
7) biking
8) read those sophie kinesella books that I've yet to read. (1 more)
9) watch variety shows

With 13S06 after sports day!

I hope that B1A4 comeback on the 6th of May with a cheerful album because I'm in need of happy songs to generate some happy hormones in me. 6th of May is also Baekhyun's birthday ^^ and yesung is enlisting too. :'(
I'm stoked for Friday.. Not because of the saints advocate badge ceremony but its SHINee's comeback with their 3rd album chapter 2 "misconceptions of me". Though its without jonghyun and all, I'm still looking forward to their new album simply because they look cool. (Y)(Y).

By the way, I was listening to some old songs yesterday such as I'll be back (2pm), Again & Again (2pm), lollipop (big bang and 2NE1), can't nobody (2NE1), 黑糖秀(by lollipop and hey girl), abracadabra (BEG), Its you (suju) etc. I looked at the year the video was uploaded and I can't believe that time passed really quickly! I was still a sec 1 back then and now I'm a year one college student! 4-5 years just flew past. The type of song produced have changed a lot too! 
By the way Psy's gentleman is too much dubstep. I don't get why people like gentleman... When I first saw the video and I saw the dance moves, I thought the moves were recycled. Then I recognised Ga In in the music video and I realised that it was from abracadabra. I don't care whether he bought or whatsoever but I'm sure he can do better. The lyrics are terribly written and its a mess. I didn't move to kpop for this.
I think that this entry is in a mess too.
Shall update on my MSA results this sunday. (left with chem!)

24/7

5 minutes is enough.

I miss SN. I miss the people there. Even though the environment is scary there but I really miss the people there. Everyone is so patient. Even if we're about to explode because we cannot stand each other incessant questions or whatsoever, we still help each other.

I still remember Amanda Neo helping me through mole concept.
Ms Yee answering all my questions be it stupid questions (well a moment of folly) or questions which are in depth. I dont know if I can ever find people patient with me... Patient enough to answer my questions. I dont think anyone can take my curiosity when it comes to science because I think too much. But I need to think or I'll just die.
   

Wake me up

School officially started and yesterday was a blast.
To be honest, I was really scared when I first stepped into SA because I'm one of the few that got into SA and all my St Nicks friends got into like the top few JCs or NYJC. I was afraid to face rejection from my peers... I can totally imagine no one doing retarded stuff with me :'( Sobs. Besides, I'd cry if no one wants to talk to me. However, after that awkward morning assembly... I started talking to sachpreet, a girl in front of me and we kinda became friends. Well, imagine walking to the culture centre in a line and everyone do not know each other? I cannot take it so I decided to open my big fat mouth to start talking. HAHA.
Anyway after the weird talks, we had some subject counselling which turned out to be 'making new friends session' because I made friends with many people along the way. Haha and turns out that all of us are trying to appeal out of the school (yes, I appealed to NYJC and to be honest, after yesterday, I was kinda hoping that I don't get transferred out because I have to start my entire social butterfly cycle from scratch and make new friends from scratch). So we all have one thing in common eh? Had some icebreakers and ended up making friends with almost all the girls there.
The reason why GIRLS is because I've no idea how to talk to boys. Being in an all girls school for 10 years just crashed me for this part of the entire 'Nicole is a social butterfly' thing. LOL. Well, our OG turned out to be really fun and funny and I brought my lame jokes along and laughed our ass off with my lame jokes. Guess the title joker won't leave me for now. I'm still the joker.
Anyway played games and everything and I saw Jonathan Fung. O: The world is so small. Haha. I truly enjoyed my day at SA yesterday. Even though the Christian environment is going to take me some time to adjust because I'm a catholic. The school spirit there is pretty good. Well, for now. Its too early to say anything but I have a feeling its going to be a good 2 years there. Besides, the food there is good ^^ And I've got macs 5 minutes away too! :P And MRT is so near. Oh my.

looking forward....
I'm really scared of JC lifestyle because it was said to be scary. Belle shared this blogpost with me this morning when I was talking to her: http://stopthe-pretence.blogspot.sg/2012/03/truth-behind-my-jc-life.html?showComment=1333914124405#c1274540900932446712 And it kind of scared me a little. Because what she said was true to a certain extent because I WAS FROM A TOP SCHOOL and JC is very different from secondary school... I'm really grateful that I'm not in a top school for now even though I think I'll have to face the fact that universities look at the college you're from and its all about branding again. Even my mum was telling me that JC is not easy especially project work. Speaking in front of an audience is definitely not my forte.
Haha I found friends that got B4 for English with me too... so basically I'm not alone. And I'm worried for GP. I looked at the subject thing and I saw comprehension and my heart dropped and shattered into many pieces. What if I cannot cope? Am I supposed to put my pride down and sort for a language tuition? Okay you know what, its not about pride. Its about how I used to judge people for having a lot of tuition and then they do so damn well ALL BECAUSE THEY HAVE TUITION and the fact that I'm so 'cool' because I don't really have a lot of tuition (2 in fact in my entire secondary life in which I'm late half the time) and still faired pretty well.
I'm being very frank with you because that was what I thought most of the time.
So I was thinking of taking GP and physics tuition.. Initially, I wanted to take math tuition but when I searched KIASU parents (LOL) most people say physics is harder and most people know that I've NO IDEA HOW I FREAKING SCORED AN A1 FOR PHYSICS...
Because physics is more of understanding as compared to math.
Anyway, I just taught my brother emath and amath.. I guess I haven't forget anything yet. LOL because I still can do them like a boss and even tell my brother the steps for every different kind of question.. Just don't ask me about physics.
Oh and there is oral for Chinese sobs. SAJC seems like a very English-ish environment. So I can't randomly use Chinese words/idioms in my sentence because I don't know the English word for it... or summarise everything into one Chinese idiom.
Anyway I'm caught in between PCME or PCMG. Another headache and I've to make my decision by Monday. I went to the extent of googling stuff like
why take geography for Alevels
why take economics for Alevels
And the answers are quite stupid. So I'm just gonna close my eyes and chose my combi because I'm fine with both econs and geography. I'm very sure about PCM. Now its the last one that's all. sian.
I'll give up fangirling if I have to if I can't cope in JC. I really will. And it seems like I've to give up reading too. Sigh... I need to strike a balance between fangirling and studying. I can't be a mugger for good. I'm not even one to start with.

I MISS ST NICKS :(