Though I faired pretty well (not really) for my MSA, I don't see a point in doing something I don't like to do. Its as if I'm forcing myself to do something and trying to make my best out of it because eventually, with these grades, I'll be able to do what I like in the future. But the fact that I really hate my life make me feel like giving up on my ambition and just be a gardener for good. I don't even think I can be a gardener because the subjects that I'm taking is not even gardening-related. -.-
In fact I'm very distracted by many things around me... negatively. I can't adjust to the mix school environment, I can't adjust to having different types of classmates and I can't adjust to the people here in SA. Both Saints Advocate and 13S06. I also can't adjust to the fact that I've to study everyday. I really can't.
I can't just go with the mindset: its just tutorials. and don't do them or I can't do tutorials the day before. There are times when I just wake up in the middle of the night sweating because I didn't finish this certain tutorial or assignment. There are times that I even dream of physics or chemistry and I wake up in the middle of the night going "I know how to do the question already!" This is seriously getting in my nerves because I get tired the next day but I just can't stop this.
I'm gonna be optimistic. I'd rather do something I want to do for the rest of my life and suffer for these 2 years than to enjoy these 2 years and do something I don't want to do for the rest of my life.
Worries aside... I keep forgetting to eat. Sigh... I just remembered that I've forgotten to eat lunch today.
Well... There are many things I want to learn/do.
1) I want to learn tagalog
2) I want to learn bahasa indo
3) I want to learn Korean (fully)
4) I want to learn Vietnamese (fully)
I can't even master Chinese and English properly. ._.
5) learn mamamia fingerstyle on the guitar
7) biking
8) read those sophie kinesella books that I've yet to read. (1 more)
9) watch variety shows
With 13S06 after sports day!
I hope that B1A4 comeback on the 6th of May with a cheerful album because I'm in need of happy songs to generate some happy hormones in me. 6th of May is also Baekhyun's birthday ^^ and yesung is enlisting too. :'(
I'm stoked for Friday.. Not because of the saints advocate badge ceremony but its SHINee's comeback with their 3rd album chapter 2 "misconceptions of me". Though its without jonghyun and all, I'm still looking forward to their new album simply because they look cool. (Y)(Y).
By the way, I was listening to some old songs yesterday such as I'll be back (2pm), Again & Again (2pm), lollipop (big bang and 2NE1), can't nobody (2NE1), 黑糖秀(by lollipop and hey girl), abracadabra (BEG), Its you (suju) etc. I looked at the year the video was uploaded and I can't believe that time passed really quickly! I was still a sec 1 back then and now I'm a year one college student! 4-5 years just flew past. The type of song produced have changed a lot too!
By the way Psy's gentleman is too much dubstep. I don't get why people like gentleman... When I first saw the video and I saw the dance moves, I thought the moves were recycled. Then I recognised Ga In in the music video and I realised that it was from abracadabra. I don't care whether he bought or whatsoever but I'm sure he can do better. The lyrics are terribly written and its a mess. I didn't move to kpop for this.
I think that this entry is in a mess too.
Shall update on my MSA results this sunday. (left with chem!)
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