I just realised its been a while since I've actually updated my blog. I've been recollecting a lot these few days. And I realised I do not have any life. Okay, I admit I've spent my days studying or playing the guitar. If not, I'm just doing retarded stuff like eating which is definitely not something good, in fact, socially inactive.
Term 2 has started and it really tires my mind because of all the dy/dx differentiation, magnetisation and once I miss one part, I'll definitely not understand the rest. Besides, I'm very determined to at least score a B3/A2 for Chinese. I've been working on Chinese like almost everyday and I'm left with less than one month till prelims and then less than 2 months to the actual olevel.
Anyway, had loads of fun today especially after guides when ShiHui, Jillian, Vivian and I sat there and sing while I play the guitar since I can't sing. Gosh, that was one of the best sessions ever. It was stress-releasing. This week was rather a screwed up one as many things had happened and I'm glad that I managed to release all out.
Well, gotta go!
Off to do homework and sleep. Gotta catch up on my sleep before I zonk out into space the next week. Olevel SPA is coming soon for both physics and chemistry... ahhhhhhhh. -inserts constipated, nervous, anxious face-
By the way, read sophie kinsella's books they're so good, I can't stop reading and I'm losing my self-control... Gotta stop soon.
And... the ending for hunger games was rather bad.. but but, the story line is good. It would be better if the ending was good and mind-blowing.
Its been a while since camp olympus just ended.. Wait, it didn't end. It isn't complete without campfire, internal campfire and lastly... something I dread: Farewell.
Okay, even though I wasn't there for the morning of this camp, my heart was still there.
Reaching there at 6am... Stoning there and falling asleep because I slept at 2.30am the day before after leaving church camp at 1am. Yes, so slept. Watched the juniors falling in was rather heart warming. Can you believe it? 4 years later, we watched the sec 1s-3s falling in and reporting strength and we are not the ones doing it any more.
Sadly, I had to go off to take the Chinese paper which I wasn't concentrating half the time because I kept thinking what were they doing and whether that they will finish the tent pitching and all... Yes so rushed to campsite after paper 1 to hear that they are doing well and that no help is required which I found it rather weird because we are the only batch of sec 4s not really doing the work and there was overcrowding at the flagpole. Well, I cursed in my mind.. Yes I did and was pretty sure that something good won't come along. I had to take paper 2 and then after that, went back after that thinking I could help with something.. So apparently they were doing their kitchen shelters and it was lunch so went for lunch and gobbled all the food I can so that I won't be hungry. Then went to clean the room up for the sec 4s and everything before going to prepare food for their outdoor cooking! Oh before that we kind of got scolded because of 'overcrowding'.. Yeah finally or something. I know I'm damn sadistic but finally someone is saying that we are really inefficient. :\
Apparently, I learnt that I'm careless queen. I can't cook rice or porridge. When I'm supposed to cook rice, I cooked porridge, and when I'm supposed to cook porridge, I cooked rice. You jealous? My skills so good, it was a sold out! Kidding. After that, while others went to do outdoor cooking, Wenxin, Me, Xue Ying, Abigail and all were cooking and we had to cut chicken and fry stuff. I'm probably the worst cook there... :( Even the soup is chicken!
Nomnom after that, we started preparing for the FBI game and even though it was too hard and confusing but I hope they actually enjoyed that and all even though it was almost cancelled because we didn't have enough time and all. Well, still, I guess it went fine. Then drank barely for supper and bathed at night before started doing the video for guides own. Yeah and did work and slept around 2 plus?
The next day was really god's grace... Even though it was filled with emotions and everything... Well that is where my reflections come in and everything.
Yepp so woke up at around 5plus and then see them fall in at 7am.. Looking at them doing horseshoe makes me recollect the past memories too.. Even though the horseshoe didn't look like one and they had to redo 3 times, it still looked beautiful. I don't know why...Then was breakfast which was noodles and then the sky looked grumpy... :( Well, because we live by faith, the skies cleared! Yes, the weather forecast was for once... rubbish. Inspection was next and yepp, after that was preparing for hike which I hope the juniors enjoyed it since it was a different kind of hike where the patrols goes to all the same stations... Well, Sam, Joanna and I managed to get starbucks and everything and we had to make an impromptu station with crafts and they had to find us which kinda failed because we hid really well. Sam in the trash bag, me under the tent, joanna at the corner. Yepp, after that was preparing dinner for the juniors which I found it saddening because only left with Xenia, Melina and I to cook and everyone went to do night trail since it was a meal for the juniors. Never mind that it was raining and we can't have meal ring but we didn't cook a meal for them. :( Well.. then was night trail which I scared myself. Okay now comes my reflection part...
So after the talk with the guiders as a cohort or being reprimanded... I kind of sat down and recollected.. Forgetting about the teeth or bathing, I just sat down at a corner in the hall and recollected (It was raining). I insisted on being alone. Thinking the times on how the senior had treated us and we had treated the juniors, even though we wanted to bring the standard up, all we thought was us. I still remember when I facilitated CC1 camp last year.. To lead is to serve. Apparently... I didn't apply what I learnt before during this whole camp. Probably let my pride bring me down. I was too selfish. I wanted the best, I thought we were the best, yet forgetting the juniors come first... Now thinking back, how stupid we were. Not returning the sleeping bag.. Maybe because we had to rush but walking down in the hall, it hurts to see juniors shivering there. Which makes me think.. What horrible seniors we were, what a horrible senior I am. Complacency.. Maybe they didn't notice the loopholes but it was so ugly till I'm so ashamed of myself. I totally agree with our guides. Even though I disagree with the luck one but I agree with whatever the guiders said. Whatever they said were true. I feel like a snob.. (leading to today..) So I joined for junior catechist training. This was where I went today. I wanted to learn everything I didn't learn for the past 4 years. Humility, obedience and to serve. I want to make a difference. I want to serve God, I want to serve the younger ones. Even though joining this isn't going to be an easy road because it requires me to be open to trust. I sadly tell you, I don't trust my own friends. What is a safe environment is where I can be myself. I want to turn back time and even though I can't give it to the juniors since I wasted my camp away, I can give it to those in church, from what I learnt as principles of God and life to serve. I slept after that and the next morning was a whole emotional thing again. Rushed out guides own video and then had guides own. Felt so sad during guides own I swear if its farewell, I'll cry you a river. So camp ended with us sec 4s cleaning up. Talk about improving ourselves and giving what we really learn for the past 3.5 years back to the juniors.
Camp olympus'12: Memories to be kept, many learning points to be practised, many things to improve on, friendships to be kept.
Okay, so I'm back from both camps but I'm starting to blog for church camp first.
Yes, spiritually drained and all. Yes, the last CC4 camp...
Wait.. There is more to come... I'm still deciding whether I should join to become a junior catechist because I'm having mixed feelings about it... I'm really bad at facilitating a camp. Without further ado.... Day 1: It didn't feel like camp until I had to drag myself out of bed and roll out yes and I regretted not taking the bus 162.... because I suffered like crazy and I totally rolled my eyes when 162 went past me... Bleh anyway talked and laughed on the bus with Mag, Sharlene, Kimberly, Kryshan, Geraldine, Caissa and Louisa. Then as soon as we reached there we had an opening prayer and went into groups... We were told to surrender one of our T-shirt and place them at the stage. Then one person will randomly take anyshirt... Yeah I got Kim's one and Louisa got mine.. and we're supposed to wear it till lunch.. then we had to share the most embarrassing incident we had... Then what we expected from this camp. So what I wanted from this camp was to experience God in a special way. And I've got what I wanted. Oh and we prayed for the person whose shirt we're wearing. Yeah buddieee Then, we had to read out from the bible passage in the first book, genesis about the Adam and Eve... On the road back to eden.. Eden, to me is like heaven, peaceful, quiet, calm and its like paradise. Yes so reflected Okay not long later... Its lunch and ate like a pig because I didn't really have time to eat breakfast you see... So I was like a hungry pig gobbling food down...
After that, when we went back into the room there was a trashbin with all our rubbish and that represents our sins kind of thing. Greed, Pride, lust blahblah... Okay, I'm gonna share one of my here in my next blogpost... Guides camp. Yes, with all these 7 deadly sins, the further we travel away from Eden.. Like the moment I shut my eyes, I could imagine that beautiful place: A fountain, river and sunflowers, apple trees etc. Now, its like the journey back to Eden.. Throw away my pride, greed etc (I can't remember).. Yes its hard I know its extremely hard... Whenever it comes to food... especially.
After that was a prayer to imagine the garden of eden and then writing a letter to god about my life. I was like uncertain and unsure about my life and all my mistakes and error and all the bad stuff I've done. Seriously, I've never done that before... I'd usually keep it in. So that letter to Jesus is hidden. Thou shall not find out. After that, was a sharing of a beautiful picture...
This picture was an old picture drawn hundreds of years ago.... Notice it carefully... am I the one looking at the father and son and not dare to look back or...am I the son who looks for forgiveness.. Yes. Not expecting what is the next session, we went off for dinner and its all meat and no vegetables. Wait... Fried kuay teow. Best meal for a camp ever. Then we came back to the hall and had a mini praise and worship session followed by confession. Yes I went on monday but I never had a really full confession in my entire life.. So I was talking to God about my life and was the last 3rd to kneel to say that I'm ready to confess all the idiotic and wrong stuff I've done in a way yes... So it was my turn and I was last 5 or 6 I think. It took me a long time to start telling all the wrong stuff I've done to the priest... mmm even telling a story of what I've done. Okay, it isn't really serious its not like I stole something or kill someone. More like what a girl would actually do when they hated or disliked someone.... This was one of the most thorough confession I've ever done. And I've never felt so pure before...Yepp, lights out and then most of the girls spent their life gossiping and laughing at each other. Ahhhh, never felt to good. Last camp and we were all cuddling up and telling each other about our mixed feelings.
Day2:
Sadly, it was the last day of the camp for me because I have Chinese paper the next day..Woke up really really early to take bus down to St Ignatius Church to attend the 8.15am mass and well.. people were kind of dozing off. Being the slightly OCD-ish person... I had ask the person beside whoever is sleeping to wake them up. Yucks... Sleeping in mass.... Saw Sam Goh. Okay, after that we walked back to FMM, which was 1.9km and it was a prayer walk like we did in sec 3. You know, it was quite comfortable and all. Like so peaceful and calm. Just talking to him random stuff... Yeah, then we changed and had a feast for breakfast before having the lecture on holy spirit. So the image of the holy spirit comes in the form of a dove in my mind. Some fire, some water, some wind. You know.. Like dove.. peaceful and everything...After that, was prayer and affirmations. Wrote letters and everything while everyone was bathing. You know.. like fuzzy wuzzy with all my friends and everything and we were all talking about our journey together since sec 1 and now we are all more mature... From talking about who like who at night, now.... about life... So after the long wait... 9pm came...Praise and worship and finally prayover. I didn't know what to expect. But my legs felt wobbly and numb all of a sudden and sudden there was a strong pull backwards... Yeah, definitely the work of the holy spirit. Yes, I've got what I wanted. I really didn't know what to expect because I was quite afraid and then like what if I don't.. To be truthful there were many doubts but then I really really believe. God always have better stuff planned for you. So it ended at around 1am.. And I had to leave because I have to pack for guides camp. I want church camp again. Everything was so beautiful and peaceful.
Yepp, thats all for church camp. I'm going to keep this beautiful faith with me. God's grace yesterday! It didn't rain during hike. YESSSS FOR ONCE IT DIDN'T FOLLOW THE WEATHER FORECAST! GOD'S GRACEE!
Alright! guides camp tomorrow!
I'm going to join junior catechists to continue to serve!
Rolling around on a monday, doing some video editing...
I really really wonder how is camp going to be? I hope that it is going to be really really amazing. I meant, we did planning in less than 10 weeks! Even though we're not completely done yet but we're really good! We really did it in less than 10 weeks.
Yes, okay, today, I learnt that I'm never suited to be a journalist, reporter or anything that got to do with reading. Don't judge me. Probably took that scene like 100 times today for our cool game we had and I'm probably the greatest idiot ever.
Anyway enough of this crap. The term is coming to an end and there are many things I'm definitely not looking forward to this week.
1) Wednesday- morning jog, Olevel Physics SPA
2) Friday- PE
Yes, apart from that, Oh yeah party time. just kidding. I can't start playing now.
I still have chemistry homework and all. So goodbye for now!
bye!!!
OMG. MY CA1 RESULTS ARE REALLY HORRIBLE. I MEAN YES. HORRIBLE. I'm not joking. For the first ever time I failed geography. Well, the whole class failed geography and I'm not alone. But its a little disappointing when I've been getting an A1 for geography all these while but this time is an ugly number in PPR. Well.. My PPR this term is really horrible.. Still.. Like it might be a fail since I've failed 4 subjects. Yes 4 subjects. Don't judge.
I have to pick myself up from all these and learn from my errors and review my own papers and see where I went wrong.. But there is one thing I can never change... My 101 careless mistakes. Its never ending carelessness.. I was blind and saw reducing agent as reduced... I calculated rubbish I wasn't supposed to calculated during physics... basically "redundant step"... I forgot to cancel out my pi for math but I got the answer... I saw 0 as 6... I can't press my calculator properly. It is a comment made by Malaysia.. I wrote Singapore and quoted from Malaysia. I'm really a born sotong. Well.. I still got to changed that away before it murder me during Olevel. And then no more dentistry for me.
Anyway, I'm so excited for both church camp and guides camp. Even though I don't think we're prepared for camp olympus... But bring it on baby. We're greyguides! Today's camp preparation and all was quite fun especially while preparing for night trail and our special game. I can't contain my excitement.
I'm going to work this out. I can do this. Physics Olevel SPA is next week and I don't know how am I going to surgive it especially when my hand starts to shiver and I get all nervous. Trial was bad enough... Ahhhhh...
Anyway... Off to do work. Was supposed to end this off but was watching one direction's megamind pt 1 and pt 2. Louis sense of humour, Niall wants to be a dentist, Harry's cutest face, zayn's beautiful voice, Liam's accent.
