Happy birthday Amanda! (:

Today was rather fine. Just that weird things happen. First, I attended mass with Caissa. Then after mass, met Sharlene! And we waited outside our classroom. Because CC1 was having their class. And we were disturbing Aron, our facile last year, who is my brother's catechism teacher because he insisted on stacking the chairs up! 

Then so we chatted and camp outside our classroom with Louisa, and Mag. Uh, said hi to Ben since he waved? :\ After that, during lesson we played this game about lent. Like how much we know about lent and we had to think about what we are doing for lent. 

Speaking frankly, ash Wednesday is this Wednesday and I'm not out with what I'm going to do for lent. That time for reflection, I really didn't know what was I going to do this time round.

Since there is 1 week during lent that I'm not around and instead, I'll be at Chiang Rai doing my mission trip. So that was 'sacrificing' one week of free time? But.. I really wanted to go mission trip ever since Mrs Gurung mentioned it. And not like I'm going to 100% go study during the holidays. I would just waste my time away doing stupid things and wasting time. 

Alright, apart from that, I'm going to abstain from CHAWANMUSHI. My favourite of all time :D I think so far, thats all.

So after that, Sharlene, Geraldine, Jonas and I went to J8. On the way, Jonas was laughing at my pathetic results while looking through my amath paper and I was trying to clear some concepts which that uncle wasn't really able to clear either. -__- Then went to photocopy some stuff $9.20 worth of papers. Joined Sharlene and Geraldine for lunch. :D And went to popular to buy Amanda's present. 

Hello Carnation Kng, I'm granting your wish for an update about my life.

Today was HOMEWORK DAY!

Actually, it wasn't really homework day. I did speech early in the morning and I can't stand people complaining about speech on facebook. Yes, I know it is hard. But to me, speech is really easier than narrative and descriptive. Besides, the paper was given to us with 3 pointers there. I don't see how hard elaborating is. -___-

I'm not worried about the content and the grammar. But for impromptu speech, the thing I fear is the audience. Audience is one of my greatest fear. No. I should narrow down the thing I really fear of. Audience is too vague. Since impromptu speech is to the class, and its graded, there is the teacher..... I'm afraid of... 

I'm fine with speaking to a group of people of my age or about my age. But when there are ADULTS around or people older than me around, sorry, I really can't. I would not start but I would stare, stammer and stutter. Maybe I would laugh and decide to head to the washroom and hide away from the whole class. Its my own natural reaction. Or you would actually realise, my eyes will be in an unfocused manner. I wouldn't wear my spectacles when I give my speech. I would seem to be searching for something whenever I stand in front of a group of people listening to me talk. 

Okay, enough of my fear. I did my math so for my amath homework 7, 8 & 9, I only did the first 2 questions. And the third one is full of strikes and correction tape. I then decide to revise geography but it was quite a failure because the computer was a distraction. I decided to leave the computer on because  as I study geography, I would require some stuff like maps on the net in order to understand the maps in my textbook and the slides. The slides full of short forms and small diagrams. I'm off to study. 

Sometimes, I really wonder... Why am I joking around all the time? Why is it so hard to get serious. Why am I so playful? Why do I have really short attention span? Why do I fear somethings so much? 

Last night, I had a painful nightmare. I dream about my amath paper and that it was really really badly done. At 1am, I was breathing in and out so hard. I know I was awake. But then, it felt like I was among a lot of people. I kept telling myself its only a dream. The next moment, I was back into my sleep and the story continued. Then I tried my very best to stay awake the next day. Which was rather a failure. Nothing was going into my mind and in fact, bloodshot eyes in the morning. Amath haunted me so badly. Even my previous weird nightmares about other things weren't bad until I wake up breathing in and out so badly. 

I like to joke around and basically, I laugh at the simplest things. For example, the tap in the chemistry lab that made me vibrate when I'm leaning against the table writing, I was literally vibrating and it generated my need to go to the toilet. Then, the next moment, because of that, I started laughing. Now thinking back, I don't see what so funny about that. But it was just really funny. Then during free period, I was talking Amanda and En Le. Then I don't know what, I was laughing. I even jumped up when I accidentally slammed the door too hard then I start laughing. Now thinking back, why did I even laugh in the first place? Is it that funny? By the way, if I was mean when I joke, I'm sorry kay. D:

I have extreme short attention span. If you realised, I walk around in class. Especially when you ask me to throw rubbish, I will me "YES!" And I'll go and throw rubbish. I walk to and fro like its my home. See. You realise my short attention span. 

And I realised, I get annoyed easily. At the simplest things. Especially when I can't stand certain things. I may not appear in front. But inside, deep down, I'll go #!%!#$!%!. And try to control in the surface.. Urgh. 

Mrs Seah is quite nice you know. She is the kind soul that is willing to come down after school just to teach amath. Just to make up the lesson, Sam, Vivian and I missed. Gah, I cannot let her down and must do well for the next math and amath test. I got to do something about it. 

Careers education workshop was great today. 

So my personality is mainly I. Which means my characteristics are influencing, interacting, inducing, inspring, have interest in people (???) and instinctive sales-person. I don't know how true is this. But I know the weaknesses. At least 3/4 is true. Inattentive and poor with detail, really short attention span. Yeah, the only ones that are true... Uhm, strengths are outgoing, enthusiastic, optimistic and talkative. Then again its quite true. I have like 0 for the 'D' personality type and 'C' personality type! AHH. And For the 'S' personality type, I have only 4 out of 20. -___-

None suits me except difficulty establishing priorities. 

And the job I wanted was to be a social worker, counselors, event planners from 'S'. And I want to be a DENTIST, photographer, computer programmer from 'C'. I have nothing from C and yet, all the jobs I like are from C. -__- Nothing else from the 'I' and 'D'. 

Conclusion: I REALLY WANNA BE A DENTIST. ): That fixes people's teeth. And if not be a counselor or a social worker. 

Dentistry. :P

http://www.dentistry.nus.edu.sg/academic/ug_entry.html

WAHAHHA. Sounds so hard. D: 

And as for social work... 

http://www.fas.nus.edu.sg/swk/undergrad/undergrad_admin_req.htm

Hmmm... then, sociology :\

http://www.fas.nus.edu.sg/soc/undergrad/entry.htm 

http://portal.hss.ntu.edu.sg/sociology/admission.html

OMG EVERYTHING REQUIRES GP PAPER. -___-

Psychology. But this is like the last in my list. 

http://www.ntu.edu.sg/HSS/Psychology/programmes/undergraduate/Pages/Admissions.aspx

and to get into SMU.. http://www.smu.edu.sg/admissions/pages/apply_to_smu/Apply-to-SMU.asp

SMU offers nothing for me. D:

I still have about 4 years more. Gotta work hard! :D 

I failed my uhm... amath? And its not I'm proud that I failed it. But its F9. 

I have almost 0 reactions and feelings to it. Its not that I don't care about it. But, I was too shocked, upset and disappointed about it. 

Reasons to Nicole's failure for amath...

1) Wrong inequality signs

2) cocked eyes

3) careless mistakes from the start of the question. Uhm, copying the questions wrongly.

Then you must be saying, BUT WON'T FAIL UNTIL SO BAD LIKE F9 right! 

The main factor is half the paper, I think I know how to do, but I don't know how to do. =__=

Wait wait. I know how to do! But you know... Half way there is this > or < and the one with the line at the bottom and then after that there is the I DON'T GET THE QUESTION THING half way while doing... And reason for it being a shock: I WAS ABLE TO DO THE 10 YEAR SERIES. But... in 5hours for like 10 questions. 

Another thing was I handed up all my homework properly. But when my homework came back, it was all red crosses, circles and all. So what I did before the paper was analyzing the mistake and trying to do it again. Then I still flunked my amath. 

But I'm glad I didn't fail anything else. I didn't fail anything else. Even though its all like C5 and then 1 A1. I haven't gotten back my history paper but I was hoping for a pass so that I won't have another fail in the PPR as I passed my SS.

My life is in danger now.

But thinking backwards, its my fault for not doing well for CA1.

1) I text when I study even though I'm not using the computer.

2) I'm not concentrating when I'm studying. I'm like staring at my nails, looking at my phone, googling random stuff I was studying like WHAT IS DEVILS TOWER. Because I found it cool.

3) I didn't make notes. I think I can't survive without notes. So I'll make notes.

4) I listen in class! But 1/4 of my soul is missing in action. In my mind "AFTER SCHOOL, IMMA EAT MACS." Great... -___- 

5) I go to the toilet too often. Like every 45minutes?

So... What I'm going to do about my CA2.

1) I'm going to make notes.

2) I'm going to try my best to listen in class.

3) I'm going for remedial and I'M GOING TO CLARIFY EVERY SINGLE DOUBT I HAVE.

4) Divorce my phone.

5) I facebook and twitter less? Procrastinate less too?

I'm going to try to push all my grades up by 1 band and AS FOR AMATH, OMG, JUST PASS IT. I'LL THANK GOD. 

Anyway, I can't wait for my Chiang Rai trip! :D