Timeless

I meant to blog on Saturday but things took to an unexpected turn so I'm blogging today.
Its week 3 of the June holidays and I don't think I'm screwed. Maybe I am if I compared myself to those people who are free and have the entire holidays to mug but I'm not (self-comfort). Because there are people who have been wasting their time. (Well, while they were wasting their time, I've been staying up till 2-3am to finish some work because my days were all packed.)

10/06/13 Monday:
Advocates local CIP programme day 1 (In lieu of our OCIP trip to Vietnam).
Basically, we had to clean the school and it was a difficult task because there was simply so much to clean (dirt between lecture theatre chairs and all. OCD people can't stand it) and I didn’t really know where to start from. Besides, I seldom do the housework at home apart from trying to keep my room as neat as possible. (which obviously failed because I've piles of papers and books all over my table and I figured that I've to take a day off from studying to pack it up or its going to be a major obstruction when it comes to studying because I'll have to spend around 5-10 minutes to dig for something).
Basically, the aim was to actually just to be able to empathize the aunty and uncles in our school and to be able to better feel that I should take ownership of my surroundings and spare a thought for the aunty and uncles in our school because they had to clean up after our mess and it was certainly not an easy job even with 20+ of us. In fact, most of us were inexperienced when it comes to cleaning including me.

However, after cleaning the lecture theatres (which was super dusty), I really feel that we should take ownership of the school property because I realized that many people just leave tissue paper, sweet rappers and other forms of rubbish in between the seats. I felt disgusted as I never thought that it would be that bad until I had to clean them and I really pity the aunty and uncles and I figured that everyone have to do a part in at least keeping the seat connectors clean.

Evan, Denise, Ngan and I then left early to buy our items for our street sales at night. (Last minute people -__-) It was the most rushed out planned in which Evan, our event manager, called for a trial on Monday and guess we really did it. Shamelessly printing stuff from the school printer (well, its free as long as we have our papers) and recycling stuff from the trophy room. After, all of us plus a few more advocates (Monique, Weilin, Bona, Randy, Jae Eun, Xin Siang) went with us all the way down to Orchard to do our street sales in which we were selling lightsticks with the theme, light up our city, light up their (elderly) world. and in fact, we did a pretty good job (plus Evan's friend, Isaac) despite everything being rushed and it took some time for us to warm up and dare to approach people to buy stuff from us. :)

By the way, I've also learnt that we must always persevere because despite being rejected by khong guan, our email, letter and personal visit paid off and khong guan actually agreed to sponsor us ice gems ;D and honestly I was so high after reading it at 2am that night after finishing a physics paper that I died for day 2's programme. :(

11/06/13 Tuesday:

Advocates local CIP programme day 2.

Woke up at 6 and went straight to the willing hearts kitchen and it was something I wasn’t interested in because honestly, I was so worried that I’d destroy the kitchen. Considering the fact that I can’t even cook Maggie noodles or pour hot water properly and that I couldn't really find meaning in packing food or cooking vegetables. What made me dislike the entire kitchen the most was that I didn’t know what was going on half the time. Everyone was telling me different stuff such as scoop this into the rice and don’t scoop that and vice versa and then we get scolded double. I really wanted to do my job properly but then again, I really didn’t know what was going on and I really wanted to ultimately serve those at the receiving end properly. Indeed it was tiring (4hours of sleep the night before) and what I enjoyed most was plucking the vegetables!

Big sweep after was much more meaningful especially at the second aunty’s house(First Aunty wasn't around) because though it was just Monique and I… Struggling with Chinese… without other group members… Monique and I managed to successfully entertain aunty. I figured that the food we packed at the kitchen was probably transferred to the aunty here who does not have enough money to support herself. With this, I felt that what I did in the morning was useful despite getting annoyed because I really didn’t know what was going on ¾ the time did not go to waste and in fact I felt that I’ve helped them to pack the food so that these people get their food and without us, the elderly/people at the receiving end will not be able to receive enough food. What made me regret the most was me falling asleep while Monique and I were teaching and singing songs with the aunty. Because according to Monique, Aunty was sad.

Though I woke up after that, I felt really guilty afterwards because I didn’t get to entertain aunty for 30minutes out of 2hours (I made aunty sad) and I really wished that I could repeat that day again so that I wouldn’t make that mistake again. Though we sang songs after that and like I taught aunty new songs and everything, I’d still want a redo because I shouldn’t have fallen asleep during big sweep (I know that I deserve getting scolded and yes, I deserve it. I'm embarrassed but I feel that this should be here because it will serve as a reminder to myself in the future.) and honestly, I don’t want to stop big sweep because the aunty was so happy after that when we left that words couldn’t explain how I feel. I want to make the next big sweep better. All in all, I felt that I’ve grown closer to aunty (despite struggling with Chinese here and there) much more because aunty opened up and we really enjoyed ourselves.

12/06/13 Wednesday:

Advocates local CIP programme day 3.

Ubin for the happy girl. So we went to ubin for the last day of the programme to learn more about nature and this dog followed us from the jetty to chek jawa. We named him Johnson. I think it was the dog that I touched and then I got nagged at Ms Ho for. It followed us all the way, waited for us when we stopped and all and I could really tell that it was disappointed that it was unable to follow us back on the road to the jetty.

I enjoyed myself running round or jumping around on the way to jetty because I basically had overflowing energy and I couldn't wait to move around and play.

 On the way to ubin

 Old bicycle discarded in the sea (near the shore?/below the jetty? Somewhere that people can't just go down to pick it up...)

 Johnson when we first saw him.

 Tons of discarded plastic bottles on the way to chek jawa ):

End of our trip around the mangroves!

Pictures with all the advocates:

I totally have to go back there to bike! Some day at the end of the year bah! :D (I'm in black HAHAHA)

It was like a geography field trip and I enjoyed it so much that I really want to go back to ubin and dance around in the sun again. No joke okay. I saw mangroves and all and I instantly became excited!

Watched Now You see me with the advocates and I was totally mindblown by the show. In fact, its better than inception! (Maybe because I could get the plot better and I was following it intensely until the last part when I lose concentration and lost the plot) but after having Monique explain to me the last part and all, I was totally mind blown. Its worth to watch and its in fact my first movie in months? I think.. I can't remember any other movies that I watched. I think its just this and I do not regret wasting 3hours just to watch it because I enjoyed the revelation of the story. :B

 

13/06/13 Thursday:

Met up with Sharlene and Beatrice ;D

I really miss these 2 poops a lot. I miss studying together on Sundays though we're still taking almost the same subjects (I took geog, they took econs) I still hope that we can study together but we're all so busy that it took us some time to even meet up.

I actually miss fooling around in the playground. I still remember Beatrice's cycle challenge which obviously she sucks at cycling. LOL took her forever to cycle finish 1 round around active while Shar and I took 3-4times faster than her.

 

14/06/13 Friday:

Nicole goes shopping with ShiHui.

Shopaholic Nic strikes and hit the stores. After having the urge to shop for like months, I've finally gone shopping and I've spent a lot of money on Friday. I don't even dare to check what is left in my bank account. I got a feeling its not good. I'll just check it when my allowance come in (self-comfort) and now, I must hide in a hole and not step into orchard (which is obviously not possible).

Well, I don't think I bought a lot but I bought a lot. 2 tops, 1 bag, 1 jacket, a pair of sunglasses. Its not a lot but somehow $$$ is a lot. :( I went out with the mindset, "DO NOT HESITATE TO SPEND" HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAAHAHA.

Anyway, had street sales at night and we had many volunteers. (I'll probably reflect it on a later date) but YFC is so stressful now and there are times that I feel like giving up because its taking up much of my time and I can't agree with my teammates here and there (well, I didn't want to repackage the stuff). Come on, we got no time :( I know where I'm standing and I know the amount of effort that I've to put in for each subject so I shouldn't get judged for studying too much because clearly I've to work a bit more than everyone else to achieve average. And I work on consistency. I don't rush everything, neither do I leave everything to the last minute. Alevel Chinese Oral MUST STUDY ONE.

Caught up with my juniors and celebrated exo's first win together with Joan and her friend, yitong.

That's it for the week. Had a productive weekend ;)

And pray hard that my fever goes down and all. :\ I need to collect my biscuits from khong guan. Time to do some chemistry and math ;D Yesterday's geog 'day' camp was terrible lol. 4hours of geog is enough to scare me because its so content-ish. HAHA.

 

I'm trapped

This whole week sucks. Monday was terrible, Tuesday was terrible, Wednesday was horrendous, Thursday was terrible and Friday (today) is terrible.
Everyday is terrible and I'm not in a mood to actually talk to anyone especially during camp.

I feel that people should learn to be humble yeah? This whole leadership summit was an eye opener because I've experienced so many things that I've not felt in 3 days. Proud people, noisy people, whinny people, people who can't take things seriously... yadiee yadaa. Some people are so damn proud that I sometimes wonder who got them to where they are and if they are really passionate of who they are serving or just for the sake of portfolio.

Okay to be honest, I spent most of my time on YFC and I've learnt so much more than the leadership summit. The world is an indeed a scary place. Talk about being really daring, sending out many mails requesting for sponsorship and nothing in return. Talk about money and how the world really works. Its not simple. Today's amazing grace was an eye opener which made me feel really terrible.
what struck me was this line "is it free?"
We were giving out post cards with notes of encouragement written on it and people just rejected it and some only accepted it because its free. So people only care if its free... Then I had this thought: What will happen if I'm trying to raise funds for an organization, trying to promote a cause. Will people be willing to spend money to buy it?
Honestly, I feel really terrible now because my YFC team and I went straight to khong guan to knock on the doors to ask about our sponsorship letter and they just told us they rejected it which I feel that they could have at least emailed to tell us that they rejected it so that our trip would not be wasted.  But its the harsh reality. Money, financial budget... Its not as simple as what we think.

I've no idea what I'm rambling about but many thoughts came across my mind throughout the whole of today. And honestly, I've learnt a lot because of these difficulties we're currently facing and I still think that we can still be the change even though its not easy in this fast moving society. I've a feeling that there will be more of such shitty weeks and shitty days in term 3 because there will be YFC, Alevel Chinese Oral, PW, Common Test, Chem SPA, Physics SPA.

This is really scary...

啊~怎么办好！

No, this will not be in Chinese. But I found that line quite relatable now. Instead of What's going on. (you can skip the first part of this because I'm fangirling)
In my previous entry which was like 16 days ago, I mentioned that I really want EXO to comeback and I've probably mentioned the same thing my previous posts since forever.
So the good news is... on this faithful day, 16 May 2013, SM decided to upload 2 pictures and say that they're coming back. Like seriously. I was too happy that I couldn't control myself because I've simply waited for too long.
And yesterday was the faithful day that exo has comeback and their stage was a little too small but it was amazing.
Though I didn't watch it live or whatever, I'm just happy that they finally comeback and I've been counting down. While people countdown to common test, I countdown to exo's comeback. By the way its really good okay. All their hair color *-* so luhan's was not grey, baek's was not blonde and everything else is the way I wanted EXCEPT KAI. But their comeback is too good okay.
 

what actually happened the last 16 days. Unfortunately, I wasn't camping in a hole and I wasn't swallowed by a giant centipede either.
I was preparing hard for their comeback. Who am I kidding. I was doing tutorials. duh. Even though there was the announcement of exo's comeback and all I was still stressed because everything was starting to pile on me again.
1) EOM
2) Chinese exam???
3) GP paper (today)
4) Mission to understand gravitation
5) completing chemistry tutorials because they finished one entire chapter within 1.5 hours.
6) completing math tutorials because application of differentiation can kill me at the moment. Every question took me years to complete. I'm very worried for my common test when June is over. And I think I deserve a standing ovation because I juggled...
7) YFC.
Dear Vivian, YFC is youth for causes and not youth fan-club even though I've been fangirling for the past 24 hours.
YFC certainly took up quite a bit of time because of the meetings with the VWO, visiting the elderly and I really want to write a post on my visit but it dragged on for 2 weeks that I can't really remember what went on anymore. Now that YFC has officially launched, more will be expected of me I guess. But its all going to be worth it. I'm doing something meaningful in my life apart from studying and not contributing anything to the society. I can't spend hours sitting beside daddy, on his tablet (Because I'm too lazy to use mine) and go like 我是wolf一头wolf, awooooo ah saranghaeyo 你是美女我是狼 for the next 30 days right. I need to practise self control...

Anyway, the term has officially ended and this term was a matter of surviving for me because I had too many things going on and I didn't really know what was going on most of the time and I was just going with the flow. However, I've found a pretty effective way of studying (actually, I knew about it but I haven't been doing it) but it is really effective and I can actually find time here and there to watch we got married and running man. LOL I actually do whatever the teacher teach during the lecture on the day itself.

I'm grateful that my CG mates has been through with me for the past term and I don't think I'll make it without them because honestly, it was tough. I yearn for freedom and I want to play. /relates to today's GP compre/
I feel that the class has become more bonded while I think my introverted self took over during this term and I've no idea why. I can't seem to express myself or sometimes, I barely feel like talking to anyone. Sometimes, I voice out what I want to do but to a no specific person.

I hope that term 3 will be better even though its clearly not. But who says that I can't make it better?
CTs has officially started and I'm gonna ace it. At least PASS it. (though I think GP and Chinese was screwed).

17 May 2013
Went back to St Nicks and met up with my secondary school friends. I met up with the almighty cutie Beatrice whom I've not seem for 4-5 months and I really miss her a lot. I haven't had any time to catch up with her because there were too many people to catch up with but we did gwiyomi player together!

and I saw Xuan, Joan, Alicia and the juniors. I was once like them. I miss being a junior right now...

Jazlyn, Alicia, me, Huijan.

Joan and I

And everyone else.
I actually missed everyone and I haven't got the chance to catch up with everyone yet. But nonetheless, I'm still grateful that I got to see them and even step into the grounds of SN. I miss the smell and the feeling of real grass. I miss the familiar surrounding that I've been in for 10 years of my life.



Its going to be a rather hectic and crazy June holiday ahead and I'm really going to try my best to juggle my time and not waste time and concentrate properly so that I can slack on Sunday Morning and on Sunday night! They're my official slack time so I'm going to motivate myself all the way and do well and do myself and my parents proud.
-In fact, it doesn't feel like the holidays... There is school next Monday and Tuesday.
My well deserved holidays week 1 gone. BUT its okay, Time Management.
 
My current fears:
1) Getting dengue

I read the newspapers today (yesterday's mind and body etc) on dengue and I'm seriously damn scared of dengue because dengue can take away a person's life. Not that I'm scared of dying but it was just a bite. :(
Well, I just hope that everyone will stay healthy and that Singapore will fight the mozzies together by co-operating with NEA and do the checks around the house and remove stagnant water. (Its not a matter of saving water anymore) Its better prevention than cure. Because never will we will never know that how many people will be affected with the mozzies reared in our house. Its scary huh.

By the way, getting sick = slows down studying = cannot relax = don't do well and yaddie yadda. Its pretty scary okay.

2) Failing CTs

I thought that was self explanatory.
I'm.....
W
O
R
R
I
E
D


I think I've rattled enough. Finally saying something from my pool of thoughts the past few weeks.

 

 

 

Fire

Its a Tuesday and I know that I shouldn't be updating or even be using the computer.
But I'm forgiving myself because I'm not feeling well and I'm feeling nostalgic and all.
The thought of going back to SN this Friday makes me feel so hyped up because I can't wait to see my beloved juniors and friends.

So for the past week, I've been reaching home past 9pm-10pm almost daily and I swear it was no joke because my tutorials kept piling. On the other side, I've barely nothing exciting this week except Friday.

I was reminiscing the moments when I was in St Nicks while I was listening to some old songs that I listen to during that period.
- Only U by 10cm
- Dazzling girl by SHINee
- Mama by exo
- Boyfriend by Boyfriend
- Live while we're young by one direction
- Beautiful goodbye by Maroon 5
and many more...
It reminds me of those night study session when I stayed in school to study and be productive for 2-3 hours before heading home to sleep. At times, we did many retarded stuff such as walking around barefooted because our feet got wet. There are times when I actually miss eating tau huey and macs with Ayana and Beatrice. Sometimes, I also remember Ms Yee nagging at me to study and me pestering Ms Yee because I simply had to many questions to ask. I do remember me telling Ms Yee cold jokes and pick up lines too.
Those were the pleasant times spent together. I also miss studying with Marissa though she can be quite a pain in the ass (Sorry Mar), Angeline, Sarah, belly, Michelle and everyone else. I really wished that there was SNJC and that we can all go there together. But unfortunately, life sucks and NO, we're not together anymore. :(
There were unpleasant times when things got out of hand well, for me when I felt like giving up and that there was no meaning in life. There was this heated debate and discussion that Marissa and I had on whether what we studied exist and how do we know they exist etc.

During the olevel period...
- Return by Lee Seung Ki.
- Red by Taylor Swift.
- Daylight by Maroon 5.
- Hug me by 10cm
- Bruises by train
- Beautiful by Carly ft Bieber
I recalled Vivian and I doing retarded stuff together well... even before Olevels. Oh and going home together, buying macs and all. I really miss this retarded person. I don't know what gave me the strength to press on but I certainly did and well I didn't score that bad for Olevels. Just that disappointment because I don't have higher Chinese unlike everyone else so I can't go to any better schools. But I'm satisfied with SA ;D

After Olevels...
- 60 Seconds by Sunggyu
- Guy like me by 100%
- I got a boy by SNSD
- Look at me now by yoseob
- Janus by Boyfriend
- Tried to walk by B1A4
- Special girl by Infinite H
Well... that was when I worked. I remember hanging out with Carnation after work.. Well, she was in Taka while I was at scotts and we were hanging out at our favourite Wendy's for like 2hours and only went home at 12am. Then there was the sale when I worked from 7.30am to 12am the next day, caught the last train home, unfortunately not the last bus and basically having my concert while walking home because it was too scary to walk home at 12.30am. And the scariest part was to climb up 15 stories because THE LIFT WAS NOT WORKING at 12.45am coming to 1am okay. This is not funny. What If some pedo decide to jump out of nowhere.
Though I hated working because it restricted me from going out freely, I think I still managed to get off days to hang out with all my friends. Eating Thai Express after work (all of us gathered from center point, scotts and Robinsons raffles city) with Xenia, Lynnette and Vivian. I really miss eating TomYam with Vivian. It is like OUR FOOD. HAHAHA. Because we seem to have many epic moments when we eat Thai Cuisine, speaking of which, I'm craving for Thai food right now. Then there is this hanging out after work or working even though I don't have to work. Okay basically crashing other people's work place and promote stuff there while waiting for them to knock off so that we can go makan together.
OMG I also miss KTV-ing with belly and Vivian, Sharlene and Beatrice.




By the way, I'm totally in love with B1A4 again. The concept is so cheery that it makes me happy and hyped up even while doing math. Sanduel looks like a derp even when he sings and behold my favourite songs off their What's going on album...

• WHAT'S GOING ON
• YESTERDAY

Side note: though I 'mug' I'm not a mugger k :'(
Everyone is calling me a mugger because I do my tutorials and all. Meh. I thought that was my job as a student. Besides I've got a life k. I fangirl, I sleep a lot, watch shows and I go out. I don't camp at home and study all day unlike some people...
Oh and I'm still waiting for the day EXO announces their comeback. :( Its been 6months plus already and B1A4 comeback TWICE. Okay. This is unfair.

All too well

Its already Saturday and this marks the end of term 2 week 6.
When I looked at my student handbook, I was taken aback when I saw that it was already term 2 week 6 and that half the term is already gone.
MSAs, PI, GPP... whoa time passes really fast.

There wasn't really anything much this week except for Friday when we had SL convention and my group is 12... with Eugene and Wei xin. Well, we did something similar to what I did during my advocate hostel stay.
During our hostel stay, we wrote notes to give to the J2s who were having their BTs in the hostel that were attached to a packet of tissue to encourage them and gave them out at night.
During the service learning convention, we wrote notes of encouragement, attached them to gummy bear packets and gave them to the people around the potong pasir estate.
Honestly, it was tough because people do not seem sure whether to accept our note&gummy unlike hostel one. Not only that, we've to chose who to give to.
Take for example, I offered the SASS security guard who seem to be in his 50s and he couldn't really understand what was this all about. Not only that, he was shocked that we're actually giving such stuff to him and questioned why should he take it.
Well, I think that its rare to even have people going around "hey this is for you! Have a great day!" especially when our society is a fast-paced society where we don't have extra time to do anything.
Being a JC student, I've to study everyday, rush tutorials and well... my extra time will be used to studying/revising or catching up with friends. No time to do other stuff. LOL. Maybe my time management really suck... (Because to be honest... I watch shows like at least 1-3 hours a week and I read a lot of stuff. Ranging from Times magazine to fanfics... er in order of the degree of language... HAHA times> readers digest> story books> fanfics)
Okay, maybe I really have a problem after all.
Should I be given a chance to do this again, I want to do this at orchard....

When I was a the National Library today with Evan and Xin Siang, TJ people were doing this spread your smile thing and there was some similarities!
Apart from that... there was awesome Wednesday... Met up with Teresa a.k.a my beloved treeetreee. I miss this poop. Haven't seen her for like almost 4-5 months already. I can't imagine because I see her almost everyday since P5 because we're P5, P6 classmates, Sec 2,3,4 classmates!

In fact, I miss everyone in St Nicks. My juniors, classmates and cca peeps.

 

 

Moving on to not so pleasant stuff....

I can't stand people who think that elite school means everything is good there and I'm expected to be elite-ish k. We're all the same anyw and if you don't know, please don't say anything because you don't know what life is like and how people like me struggled ok. (I'd say more but this is an open blog. And I love SN even though life was tough for me ok... most of the people around me just outweigh the negative effect)

Well, actually I'm quite dumb...I ask too many questions which are kind of deemed as stupid or too deep... according to many people but I'm still working towards my dream okay....

 

2 days to B1A4's comeback and baekhyun's birthday.

 

NEW WEEK AHEAD! I hope that this week will be much better. My student handbook clearly indicates that I've not been doing anything. I wrote down what I was supposed to do but they're all undone and not ticked. So I had to rush them today in the library. 10am-4pm.

Tmr 10am-4pm again then I'll watch my show! :DDDDD Be a productive kid and nothing will go wrong.

I'm not a mugger k. I just really wanna do my best and at least complete my work before the snowball becomes really big and squash me... Well because I'm quite slow and all... (I can ask jared the same question for 3-4 days LOL and I still don't understand) so I need to really work doubly hard. And I've a life. For those who don't know anything.

 

I think my bass speakers are spoiled.