you're who you say you are

BrittNicole's album, gold, is AMAZING uh! I really love her album. It is so hard to find inspirational albums these days.

I realized that I've yet to blog about my March holidays and week 1 of term 2 just went by like that -I'm merging my 2 blogpost together-. I'm panting so hard from running against time.
March holidays passed in a blurry. It officially started on Tuesday immediately after I check-out of my hostel and leave the school premises.
Can you imagine that? Its like FREEDOM.
Kidding but I wouldn't mind staying in the hostel for another 1 month haha.
I went off to meet Xenia and Vivian at AMK hub before heading back to SN to look at our juniors during guides camp and I was too busy reminiscing the good times during guides camp when we're all so gross together.
I looked at my juniors and I kept thinking if I were like them in the past. They're so cute. (okay, that's not the point.) What I meant was lacking initiative, lacking everywhere and complaining about the camp. I spoke to Huijan, Alicia and some other juniors. I miss them so much. :(
That moment when no one calls me by my Chinese name anymore. I certainly miss melina's alliteration: chill cui cui.
Well, Ayana, Lynnette, Shihui and Melina came and I caught up with them for a while.

 

Wednesday team YFC's first meeting session... and I'm really sorry for falling asleep halfway. I can't help it. It didn't go well because we spent the whole morning thinking of ideas.

This is a picture of us after flipping book after book in the library. Books ranging from arts and crafts to business and gardening (that was just redundant).
Camped at home on Thursday and studied with evan at NLB on Friday. I swear I'm always productive in the morning and the productivity level drops when it comes to afternoon. Math is such a burden. Especially when it comes to graphing. By the way, I'm in love with functions now because I watched videeeeooooo and I understood it. Its like a breeze to me because the steps are actually quite dead. HAHA. The graphic calculator is such a burden at times though.

Met up with Carnation on Saturday. you don't know how much I miss this poop. I miss our late night at Wendy's session after work and shopping. I still remember how Carnation and I used to shop around orchard and all. H&M :') SALES.

 

 

 

TERM 2:

Dragging myself out of bed blablabla.

Lessons... blablabla.

CROSS COUNTRY was the highlight of the week! (wed)

Car pooled. LOL fetched Bryan and yanting to East coast park and formed the WALKING CONTINGENT! Well, to cut the long story short, I left the walking contingent and jogged 2km back to the finishing point because we're too slow. HAHA. Though 13S06 is leading the walking contingent, we're just too slow. I haven't been spending time with my CG. (I just realized.) With the competitive runners of our class:

Lunched with Bijuan, Janessa, Bryan, Jason and Yanting after. I hope that we'll have a CG outing soon!

JoanBowen Café: Went to Joan Bowen Café with the advocates on Tuesday after school before CCA and I seriously felt so helpless when I'm being served by autistic people. Camwhored like mad after. By the way, the food there is seriously good.

 

It was a short period of time that we sat there at honestly some of us were quite appalled by their actions because they couldn't remember our orders and served the wrong table etc. But I guess, its the start. There is more to come and well, since we're advocating for them, we should know what we're advocating for first. These autistic people are not to be looked down upon because we're all humans!

 

Before exco nomination (:

 

 

Anyway, the week had ended with good Friday and well... It was a slack week because I don't think I had many lectures or whatsoever... Apart from this hardcore dozing on Tuesday. I spent the whole time trying to stay awake and I didn't catch anything for chemistry. This is so depressing. And MSA is just round the corner. You've no idea how stress I am. I'm so afraid that I screw up my papers like some of my MSA papers. plus... I need to rest because I'm down with fever, cough and runny nose :'(

 

I don't get why the chemistry lecturer keep saying everything is so simple. And she speaks without pausing... By the way sometimes, I feel so dumb because everyone gets lectures while I get out of the lecture half lost.

 

Then I get stressed.

 

And get more pimples. :(





JC term 1 2013

Term one passed by in a blink of an eye. (this blogpost is written bus 58)
I still rememberthe first day when I stepped into SAJC. I felt so scared that I thought that everyone would have their own clique and being like one of the very few st nicks girl there, I do not know anyone and it was certainly a new environment for me.

Nonetheless, I made many new friends, both from my OG (OG24), my CG (13S06), my cca (SAINTS ADVOCATES). I've also met many different kinds of people here in SA. So we've got bitchy boys, annoying boys and boys who are blunt while talking to other boys...Does that even make sense? I've also met a few female friends here in SA.. Well, not the bitchy nature that we have in SN... Or maybe its because I've really hilarious classmates. Vanessa who never fail to make us laugh, bijuan who motivates me... Janessa who brings us together through us commenting on her drawings... Not only that, we've got bryan who helps us with chem and math (even though he is really too fast and scary to approach) and a good imitator, messy jason, enthu rosa during chinese... mugger dion and many more. I'm really grateful for such wonderful classmates even though the really stress me at times...

Advocates was another group of people that I've met and I'm grateful that I'm given this chance to join this CCA. Though I'm  a floater and I'll always be, I feel that they're a wonderful bunch. I should talk to some people more. Haha.

All in all, term one was a STRUGGLE.
I started sleeping at 2am daily just because I had to rush my tutorials and try to understand my lecture... Most importantly, I think that WATCHING VIDEOS (my class know this) is an essential part of my JC life simply because I needed help and extra time to replay those VIDEOS... WHY DO I SEEM TO BE TAKING EXTRA TIME TO UNDERSTAND THOSE GRAPHS AND ALL...
It also took me quite some time to adjust to the new environment.... come on luh, I was from an all girls school, same environment for 10 years for goodness sake... what is worrying me now is YFC, PW and MSA. I am really afraid that I screwed up my JC life and I don't want to lag behind everyone simply because I cannot cope. PW dropped a bomb on me. No joke, I'm really stressed about it. Many thoughts ran through my head (its back) on whether I'm suited for JC life and am destined to be a dentist or a plastic surgeon... or transfer to poly to do landscape architecture... But NO! I shall press on and make a difference in one's life as a dentist or plastic surgeon.

Well, since term 2 is here, MSA, CT, PW I'll make the best out of it and now, its a matter of surviving. Its going to be tiring but if there is a will, there is a way.

Aims for this term:

1) complete my tutorials on time (I'll try and consult teachers whenever possible. No procrastination!)

2) work on my Chinese language

3) work on english

4) be less distracted -- use less whatsapp  and fangirl less..

5) try to sleep earlier like at 12am or 1am.

 

btw.. EXO is coming back k. I can't avoid that :p

I CAN DO THIS!

 

Worth more than gold

I can't believe that its the end of the hostel stay...
It was really 13 days well spent in SA hall, and I'm extremely grateful to be given this opportunity to experience what hostel life is like...

My bed is nearest to the window and I chose that spot simply because I love looking out of the window. Okay, its not good but its still better than the door. I still remember vividly 2 Sundays ago when I fell asleep without closing the door... Until Gladys comes in after returning back from home and wakes me up. I was at a state of unglamness. Not to mention, music was playing and my laptop was not locked. What if some ninja decide to steal my stuff while I'm fast asleep.

Kidding. As the days passed, I realized that its okay to close the door even when you go out and go to school. In fact, my roommates and I don't even bother locking the door when we go out especially during the morning rush when role call is at 7am and we're still up there at 7am. You get what I mean... And being an advocate, I learnt that it is extremely important to be punctual. In order to solve our problem, we decided to set our alarms 10 minutes earlier. Unfortunately, it never worked... Simply because we're girls. More time = More time to prepare.
The week passed by in an ordinary fashion. We do our homework every night together and talk etc. In fact its amazing how all of us do not close the door. So basically, when you walk past the corridor, no one closes the door at night. Well, Monique, Vanessa and I had this competition: who sleep the earliest wins... without any prize. And guess the loser every night?
ME. ._.
Haha. I won once though. I think it was the day before our teambuilding camp on Thursday simply because I did not sleep the night before. HAHA. I was too tired to move on so I decided to sleep. Can you imagine 41hours without any sleep? It went well for the first 30+ hours. Until it hit the 36hour mark... that was when I really felt like dying on the spot and there was some 1st and 2nd advocates sharing...

 

So Friday came and it was our team building camp. Wow.. I was so scared they were going to pump us a lot and that it would become like the SC selection camp. But we have no fear because we're from Saints Advocates. We're going to serve the community... That is what we're here for.

 

First day of team building camp was really fun. We played games pertaining to the values teamwork such as trust and communication and trust me... I really learnt a lot from these GAMES. Though I haven't fully learn how to trust someone... but I think I'm on my way to do so because I've to or else I don't think I'll be able to work well with anyone since I've an independent mind... trust yourself and god. No one else. Yepp. Looks like I've to open my circle a little bit more. Its going to be tough but I'll try. I've also learnt the importance of working as a team. :))

Well, the second day was actually really really scary. Not scary in a way that they were going to pump us and all. We went for our first SERVICE LEARNING together... THE BIG SWEEP! And I was skeptical of the houses that we were going to clean. In fact, I was AFRAID that there will be bugs and all. I got BAYGON to myself. Yes, thats right! My baygon. :* It was proved to be wrong because most of their houses were really clean. In fact, cleaner than my own room. (Okay, maybe not.. My room may look messy because of my secondary screen wires, bass speakers, laptop and all the books and magazines strewn all over and around the table. I cut down on my wires already by the way... I'm using a wireless mouse) These elderly were in fact very lonely people. I suppose. Because the aunty's house that I went to told me that she signed up because her friend signed up and she told us (denise and I... Because the rest of the group can't understand Chinese) about her world war 2 experience. Well, after that were the activities planned for the elderly and I swear speaking in chinese is hardwork. I... NICOLE ANG... USED GOOGLE TRANSLATE ON THE SPOT. 请给我一个热烈的掌声！Side note: I'm so worried for my chinese now because I'm really bad at it. The worst part of life is that Alevels is soon and Oral is 1 term away. YES ONE TERM AWAY.

 

Well, we went back and we did mass games. Being blind for like 30-40minutes was a horror for me during the mass games... However, I can empathize them now. Yes, I really can. I felt so helpless I really didn't know what I was doing. On top of that, I totally felt like a BURDEN.

Did outdoor cooking and my group cooked fish and pasta while the others just had Maggie mee. HAHA. (refers to my advocate journal) >> last to finish but I'm glad we did something challenging as a group though I feel that we could support each other and be less individualistic at times. sorry jae eun for ignoring you when you were telling us the story behind our food. I still remember I said "wait uh" Anyway, they woke me up at 4am alongside with Denise, Evan and Liwen to do night trail in batches... I SWEAR sn night trail was nothing compared to this. Really? at 4am.. HAHA. I still remember Evan making fun of all the stations and all of us huddling together because we were so scared. We had the FIND MY HEART station, MAFIA station, NS station, TOILET station and HARRY POTTER station. I swear what evan did was really funny because he made fun of the ghost to make the entire thing less scary for us. (Well, I think he got into some trouble after that. Sorry!) Kicking around the corners so that the ghost won't jump out of nowhere, screaming before the ghost scream at us, singing Chinese ABC because the person said ABC.. We thought she meant sing ABC so we sang.. and no.. so we sang the Chinese version according to Evan and then we read the book. In the end she gave up and just get the book back from us. (Y) Many memories were made... HAHA.

Tried to sleep but didn't.

 

3rd day was really tiring. two halves make one hole was seriously the game that impacted me the most. It was like the greatest test of my fitness level.

bottles with holes... filling up big bottles with holes...

before we can fill the up, we have to run, jump, duck walk and spin 10 rounds...

By the time we reach the big bottles... No more water. LOL or like 1/2-1/4 left. We took 2 hours 20 minutes to fill one big 1.5litre bottle up. I swear it was tiring because 1/3 of the total strength was left to do the running up and down while the other 2/3 had to sit there to cover the holes. So it was like them trying to not make our efforts go to waste. 2hours20minutes of running up and down non-stop is no joke. It was like 50m x 50-60 to and fro. LOL. 2.5km is ok... the spinning part and jumping made the entire thing hell. Not to mention getting wet from the bottle because we had to hold the bottles on our head.

AMAZING HUH. Determination I swear. It was seriously the most fulfilling task ever. I felt that this strengthened our friendship and teamwork. Yes. It did. And our mental and physical ability.

MY TEAM

End of camp: went back and got my tablet. whoohooo.

Went back to the hostel and slept. Yeap monique and I slept. Vanessa came back and slept. We said that we were going to wake up at 6.30pm for dinner and it never happened lol. We woke up at 7.38pm and rushed like mad to the canteen hoping that there will be food. HAHAHAHA. (luckily there was. We ate leftovers :b)

Aww I actually miss canteen food now. I hate maggie noodles and outside mixed rice :( I eat that almost everyday. I miss having icecream, tomyam/seaweed soup etc. I miss breakfast.. porridge, muffins, unripe bananas. I get bread with spread now. -__-

 

Monday came... And it was our last night together. Oh before that, we went for some business proposal writing workshop!

And our last night together.. I couldn't believe that 13 days passed like that. 有一种依依不舍的心情.
We gathered at night at our 4th level lift lobby to camwhore as 4th advocates together. Yes we're 4th advocates.

Well, we took many many more. Too many I guess. HAHA
and we did this.. A remake picture of the night trail thing (advocates journey)
FIND MY HEARTTTTT!!!

And with my team: Kon Bongsa!

Other retarded pictures with the rest:

What were we doing manzxc HAHAHA.
Last day... 19/3/13.. MADE FULL USE OF ME STAYING IN THE HOSTEL. WENT BACK TO THE HOSTEL TO SLEEP DURING 2  HOUR BREAK BEFORE CHINESE. THAZZZ RIGHT!!!!!

All in all, this entire hostel stay is worth more than gold. Trust me.. I don't think I'll ever get to experience what is hostel life like unless I become a scholar and go to some other country to study but I'm certainly going to miss staying in the hostel. I'm going to miss the fact that we don't close our doors and that we do everything together. I'm going to miss waking up late :b
But I'm not going to miss the fact that wifi is so precious lol.
I hope that 4th advocates will journey on together and become more bonded. Yes more bonded. Its hard because we have our cliques (me being nowhere again.. I'm like nowhere all the time) but I'm sure we'll get past this stage. Having cliques are inevitable but most importantly, to get out of our own comfort zone to communicate with the rest.

4th advocates up and on!!!!





EACH ORBITAL CAN HOLD 2 ELECTRONS

Its 3.07am. Yes, I am in Singapore and am still awake. Amazing right? Well, I'm really screwed because pw dropped a bomb on me. 😞😞 And I need to submit my first draft on Tuesday which means with the limited study time here in the hostel, I plan to rush finish all my tutorials since there is team building camp this weekend. Hence, I am still awake at this time. Tomorrow is a really long day... 😒 End at 4.30pm, 7pm-8.30pm got cca workshop.. Im officially screwed up. K since I made the choice to stay up, I'm not going to sleep and I'm going to survive this tomorrow. most importantly, make my time that is not sleeping worth. Sobs. 4hours last night. And 0 tonight. Its okay hahahah Thursday shall be at 11pm... Hopefully..?

Lets make the most of the night like we're gonna die young

Its the end of another long week.
This week was really eventful because many things happened.

Sometimes I really have this strong urge to turn time back to secondary 4. I really don't mind repeating secondary 4 now simply because JC is too tiring. I feel like I'm studying harder than Olevels. Even though I could do my tutorials using common sense, I simply do not understand why things are like that. So I feel very unaccomplished and dumb because I do not understand why things are like that.
Someone tell me how can electron shells have subshell and in each subshells, we have orbitals that hold 2 electrons and then with all the exception case? I even worked physics by randomly deriving formulas and subbing numbers into the equation. :\

Okay, so I went back to St Nicks on Tuesday and I was really glad that jillian 'gave' me the opportunity to go back to st nicks which was to help the juniors with pioneer badge etc. Well, it was a pity that I didn't manage to take a picture with my juniors. I miss them so much. :'( In fact, I miss the fact that I feel like I belong to a CCA. Here, in saints advocate, I feel that we're not bonded... (maybe its just the beginning) but its quite obvious that we already have cliques. Cliques are inevitable but I can't find 'my people'. Moving on, met jazlyn and Elisabeth after going back to SN!

Aww man, I really miss these people a lot. I miss having Jazlyn shouting and nagging at me in her really aunty manner. I really miss joking with Elisabeth and the times spent together with jillian. Its a sad thing that all of us got separated... Well, mainly the dumber ones got separated from the smart ones.

Well, then came Wednesday: THEMOSTANTICIPATEDCAMPOFALLTIMES.
Yeah, because I'm staying in SA hall (the hostel) beside SAJC {:

Its actually a 4 bedder. HAHA. And my roommates are:

Well, we were camwhoring in the dark after lights out. So one thing I find that it was hard to adjust to was that my roommates sleep before 12 ):< and lights out is at 11pm during weekdays and 11.30pm during weekends. Poor me who takes longer than usual to do her work sleep past 12... Like at around 1-2am. Even though we do have table lights but I can't adapt to it. I really wonder how the scholars deal with it and still do well... mmm they're scholars for a reason. :p Friday came and the horrible us can't do laundry for nuts. Wei Lin, Vanessa and I were like omg how to operate the machine. how to use the dryer. blablablabla. Maybe we just suck at it. I just remembered that I've yet to iron my uniform and its sunday already. Which means there is school.
Stayed in the hostel for the whole of today and in fact I napped ):< I was supposed to study to make up for Saturday because I went shopping on my own and spent around $100. What to do... Parents not in Singapore. And now, thinking back, I feel like slapping myself for spending so much money. Portable charger, body soap, shampoo etc. I'm so independent.

Anyway, I've this strong urge to follow the drain/river outside my school.... and JOG BACK to bishan HAHAHA. 4km LOL. I feel like trying... or at least cycle from bishan to here :b

Okay better go eat dinner. Dinner finish at 7pm @.@
byebye!
Next week better be interesting!