Semester 1

It is Friday on Week 13 (Friday the 13th) and it spells the last day of the semester. I'm actually 1/8 done with my university education! Honestly, though time passed really quickly, I felt that the semester has yet to end as there is still finals to take which I have yet to study for.

I am rather disappointed with myself as this isn't the university education I envisioned to have. At the moment, I really wish that I can turn back the clock and restart semester 1 proper as I really wasn't in into studying and actually completely lost motivation as I continued pursuing chemistry as my major. I honestly dislike how my inorganic chemistry module was taught as it was all about memory work. Then again, taking a step back, I really wondered if chemistry is the right choice for me as I am really uncertain of what I want to do in the future. I've yet to experience the lab life and therefore I do not have sufficient experience to mention about research life and currently, I feel that I'm entering uncharted waters. As for my math module, I wasn't learning. I was just being comfortable with what I know and barely put in any effort for math. I wasn't sure of what I was doing as I thought I chose chemistry and not math. Yet, math is seen to be an integral part of physical chemistry. I guess, I don't have a choice. 

As for my USP modules, I grew to understand how misleading the term 'scholar' is and the amount of effort I have to put in for my modules that I felt that chemistry is my second major. I've an essay that is still 5% done and I do not really know what I'm writing. This may sound surprising but I have come to like USS as a module even though it takes time and effort for a 2MC CS/CU module. It is amazing how pieces of knowledge come together and the different issues raised pertaining to each theory. This goes out to Quantum reality and Appearance too. I felt that I genuinely learnt something even though I could have put in more effort in my bell's inequalities and basically the mathematics involved in this module even though it was not essential. I'm glad my interest didn't die even though this module was so tough that I basically step out of class with a headache or spend 6hours thinking about a tutorial. 

As I'm typing this blog post, I really wish that I could turn back the clock to the start of the semester. I wished I put in more effort to get to know my friends better, to take part in rc life and to put in more effort in my modules as I felt that I barely learnt anything unless a submission comes and I scurry to look for my notes and start reading up. Socially, I'm unsure if I grew to be a quieter person as I felt as if I grew both ways. I do not know what I'm doing as on one hand, I made many friends and on the other, I do not have many close friends. Basically I'm a phantom. At times I would rather eat alone than eat with my friends as I simply don't feel like talking. Sometimes, I detest the fact that I just can't stay still and I detest the fact that I have to sleep and wake up early. I dislike how I do not have common topics with people. The only thing I can do is to start putting in effort. 

Wew this semester is full of regrets. And I will try not to make the same mistake next semester.

Speaking of which, there have been a lot of changes in my life. Living alone in the hostel isn't an easy feat for me when mommy isn't there to do my laundry or clean my room for me. I never noticed how I comply with the second law of thermodynamics so easily and I tend towards more disorder such that things get so messy and I basically can't live in such a condition that I have to clean up my room almost 2-3 days. There isn't mommy to clean for me. At the same time, I moved away from Bishan. I really miss Bishan as it was such a prime location and door 17 (Weixin will know this). I miss how there was a park for me to run or cycle in when I don't feel like doing anything. I miss Beatrice and how we could meet whenever we want because we stayed so near each other. (Beat this goes out to you and sorry vivvy though I stay really near you right now) Yifen is in UK so basically evening park sessions are over. Taking a step back, many things have changed over this 15 weeks and habits have changed too. My current room is half the size of my Bishan room and I have yet to adjust to how puny this room is. There are so many facilities to be used and I have yet to use any of them except the gym. I had to adjust to remember that I need an access card to enter the compound or I'll be stuck outside unless I tailgate other residents in into area. (Happens sometimes) Wew such a huge change in lifestyle... HAHA (trying to make this post less solemn) 

Well, all in all, 15 weeks (Including week 0 and recess week) flew by just like that and I guess it is just part of me growing up and adapting to my surroundings. Here's to a more productive reading week and even better 7 semesters ahead. (: 

Summer is over!

It's the end of my 'summer' holidays. It was so surreal that 8 months passed by so quickly. Many things happened as I grow to become a mature person during this 8 months of independence.

I stopped receiving allowance, I started working, I starting self-funding my own meals and transport. Upon receiving my Alevel results, I spent many nights applying for a scholarship and a scholars programme. Now, I'm proud to say, I'm a student studying in NUS studying under the faculty of science (chemistry). I also rejected a scholarship even though the terms were attractive. I don't know if this would leave a negative impression if I were to reapply for it again. My aim was to expose myself to a wide range of modules offered in USP which attracted me to apply even though I threw away my early admission slip as I thought it was just another programme. I did a teaching internship programme, gave private tuition and worked as a sales promoter. I believed I've learnt many valuable skills and lessons.

I never imagined myself to have come thus far. The 18 years 0 months old me back then was just studying hard for Alevels so that I will have a wide array of courses and scholarship to chose from and to apply to. The 18 years 11 months old me discovered that life isn't that easy after all. Having said that, I'm still a teenager who just discovered that there are many things to life. There are many options to chose from and there are many doors to open. It isn't about doing well, get a scholarship, get university over and done with and followed by a job which will perhaps make my parents proud. Having gone through 8 months of play and work, I've learnt to understand how the adult life works- how to make payment, how to do a bank transfer, how to send things via a post office, how to ask for help and many other things. The first 6 months of playing made me realised my desire to learn new things, to explore the world beyond education (not that I do not want to be a teacher. As of now, I still aspire to be one) so that I wouldn't be a teacher who only focuses on academia. (I discovered this as I was teaching my Sec 1). I've also interacted with a student and her parent who depended on tuition and my answers on a day to day basis.

Given that, I didn't waste my 6 months away. I started reading articles online to keep myself abreast of news and even read articles across many disciplines. I discovered that the world out there is so big and what I know is this small. I used to be nonchalant about the world around me. I didn't spend my 10 days in Vietnam playing but I also learnt about the different cultures in Vietnam. I discovered the many places Singapore have and yet so few know about them- except for a few hipsters who traveled all the way there to take photos to post on instagram. That includes my friends and me.

Then came July, I went for USP camp and made many wonderful friends. Eventually after the camp, somehow due to peer pressure and my own YOLO moment, I joined RAG. I learnt many dance steps and ended my holidays with a performance at the floating platform on the 7th of August. That was my first performance and perhaps its likely to be my last ever dance performance for I do not have hand-eye coordination. I had to repeat a certain step for hours to ensure I get the step right and not do anything funny.

These were my #holidaygoals- taken from a blogpost on 1 April 2015.

What have I done so far? 

1. Teaching internship (I'll elaborate further when I have time to do so, but I really enjoyed teaching!) 
2. Learnt Korean! (Vivian and I scored 93 & 94 respectively in our pre-elementary test) 
3. Hiding in National library with all the chemistry and psychology books. (Its really fun but 4 hours is the maximum I can go) 
4. Improved my squash skills (I'm not kidding when I say I improved, I'll work hard to improve more)
5. Keeping in contact with friends
6. Watched a lot of drama and wasting my life (I'm only watching an ongoing drama currently. I'm decent.)

What is next?

1. Improve my English (I think my english improved)
2. Read magazines (Not tabloid magazines) (I did not read any magazines)
3. Read books (I read books)
4. Read News (I read more articles and explored some subjects)
5. 10km goal!!! (I'm still stuck at 8km. I used to hate running, I can't believe myself) (I didn't reach 10km in the end. I ended up joining Rag dance and the conditioning was crazy enough. Dance practice was almost everyday from 10am-7pm 2 weeks before RAG)
6. Skip 2000 times without dying. (I'm still at 1300 times) (I reached that before July)
7. Learn a new subject on my own. (My USP essay was the first essay I enjoyed writing and it was on cognitive psychology. Along the way when I did some research, I found that social psychology was rather interesting so I've decided to pick it up and I've actually read some of it in the National Library.) (I didn't. I actually started working as a promoter as I felt that I needed money. But I assure myself that I learnt new things as I work too.)
8. Keep in contact with friends as much as possible (I kept in contact. It was honestly... tiring)
9. Work after I come back from Vietnam. (Probably retail or f&b) (Retail!!!)
10. Improve a skill - my guitar skills (Didn't do this at all)

It's time to start doing something productive! See you! 

Promoting reflections

It's been a while since I've reflected. Yet another month passed by and it's officially the last month of my holidays.

I'm not sure if my title is obvious but I'm back to reflect on my work experience in June as a promoter. I never thought I would be back to work as a promoter in a departmental store. I will always remember Dec 2012- Jan 2013 when I worked as a promoter in multiple departmental stores. I complained that it was mundane whenever there were no customers. Nonetheless, I'm not sure what came over me - I'm 50% sure that being bored at home was a major factor - that pushed me to apply for a job as a promoter in another company in the sports department. 

I must say that my opinions matured. Being a promoter is a tough job. I took it as an experience as I meet other people working in this line for years who shared many valuable experience with me, be it while I eat in the staff canteen or am waiting for customers to appear. We (Including me) meet many different customers each day. Customers that try on every product and not buy a single thing, customers that have deep pockets and customers that buy only what they have in mind.

Customer service and patience- They're valuable skills I acquired. (I'm not sure if I'm proficient at that) I had to orientate myself. The exact location the specific item is in the departmental store (at the very least my own level and department) and the exact directions to get there from where he/she is were the first I learnt. Though I promote for my brand, satisfying the customer's request comes first even if it means to guide them to my competitor (if they request). 

Next skill I acquired was to promote another product of another brand simply because the other promoter wasn't present at the moment. Though I can't write the sales chit for them, I learnt to drag and convince the customer to stay and wait for the other promoter to come back. It was heartwarming as we help each other to keep a lookout. I truly felt my area was like a mini community/neighbourhood. 

The most important thing I've learnt was to promote my product. I spoke to this promoter when I was having lunch one day and she shared with me that the success to good sales (on condition that there are customers) was to know my products at the back of my hand and to believe in my products. I thought this aunty was stating the obvious but it's true. I didn't believe in my product because I didn't. Yet, I studied the science behind the product, and explained to customers in simplified science concepts to convince them. At the end of the day, I still don't believe in my product even though I know that it works theoretically. Fair enough I had days with $0 sales and days with an overwhelming amount of $2000. I was wrong, I should've chosen a product I believe in.

Teaching is somewhat similar to promoting. Teaching is like promoting the subject you're passionate about. As a student, I could feel it when a teacher is passionate about his/her subject. Naturally, I believe that we tend to do better with a teacher who is passionate about his//her subject no matter how bad that teacher is at teaching. Okay, I sound schizophrenic but aptitude and passion for teaching is important too. 

After all, I can't believe I actually decided to enter this service line again. A month flew past and I learnt many new lessons as I meet different people who shared different stories with me. I'm truly grateful for that. To those who stand for 12 hours for 3-4 days straight, to those who are afraid of answering to their company for poor sales (There are seriously no people on weekdays), to those who have been in this line for 20 years (Stepping in before the sun in fully up and stepping out after the sun sets), to those who enjoy promoting their products, to those who work on weekends just to earn money and to those who constantly ensure that customers are satisfied, thank you for sharing with me your work experience. As a future customer to be, I'll ensure that I'll be a considerate and responsible one.

Book Review: Finding Audrey

I never imagined myself reading another Sophie Kinsella's novel until I chanced upon a book review on Guardian and apparently the review convinced me over to read another Chick Lit book. The genre isn't totally chick lit. Instead, it was under Young Adults. With that Kinokuniya voucher Doan gave me on my birthday last year, I bought the book last Wednesday. I was hooked. I spent the entire last Friday reading this in the library whilst waiting for Alicia and Xuan as they studied for their Block Test 2 which makes me reminisce those times... That is not the point.

Who should read this book: 

1. Young Adults 
2. People who love comic writing
3. People not looking for a cliche romance book

Anyone looking for some form of comic writing, this is the book I'll recommend. As usual, Sophie never fails to make me laugh with her comic writing. I had so much fun as I read this book at night and the bulk of it in the library. She offers interesting psychological insight into anxiety disorders and depression. Though I'm not sure how true, I literally cringed when Audrey starts crawling back into her 'den' as she meets Linus or anyone new. Her struggles were seemed real such that I was able to empathise with her. Each panic attack was an interesting episode and an insightful read as she struggles with her lizard brain and her heart. Her brother is a total gaming addict while her mom is a Daily Mail addict which resulted in a huge uproar in the family. A huge conflict arises between Frank and Mom when Mom read an article on Daily Mail and finds out that Frank is addicted to gaming. A series of family conflict where Mom and Dad argues over protecting Audrey from the cause of her current situation, and on curbing Frank's addiction to gaming was definitely not helping Audrey either. I was able to draw some parallels when mommy occasionally scolds my brother after reading a certain article on addiction and daddy would be all calm. Thank god, it didn't escalate to throwing the laptop down the balcony or bringing the CPU to yoga classes. (My mom attends yoga lessons too!)

Here's the cliche part: Linus, her potential boyfriend a.k.a Frank's best friend plays a huge role in speeding up Audrey's recovery and mending the broken ties within her family. We all know that this isn't reality. For a fun read, I totally recommend this book and every other Sophie's book. She's the only author that I follow and I blame that on my mommy as she introduced the 'Shopaholic' series to me when I was a lot younger.

The book ended with a simple message- a 14 year old girl who is trying to find her identity after a fall in life. Life is never a straight graph that continues to go up as Audrey wanted. There'll always be ups and downs in life just like how a relapse may occur to a mental patient making a steady recovery.

I'll definitely read this again a few years later! (I'm still a young adult!)

The Other Side of the Classroom

It has been approximately three months after my teaching internship stint. I've written this reflection on paper a couple of weeks ago and I finally managed to find time to type it out.

The Process

When did I know that I wanted to apply for this TIP: May

What made me wish to experience being on the other side of the classroom: I attribute this self-discovery to Yen Theme, Jonathan, Evan, Hyun Jun, Bi Juan and many others. Helping my friends regularly and whenever I could for whatever subject I was able to help in made me feel that Teaching was my calling. I really love Chemistry and I felt that nothing beats studying and teaching a subject that I like. (I hope this doesn't change!) I aspired to be like Ms Yee, Mdm Lee and other lectures who help students who struggled with Chemistry. My experience in advocates inspired me to be a teacher who is a pro-active change agent for the society.

How did I apply: I requested for 'notify me' emails. SA also notified when the application portal/link is open. It started in August when I looked into the page to look at the requirements. I was horrified when we need our prelim grades, olevel grade and a personal statement on why I wanted to go for this Internship programme. I studied really hard for my prelims and I thought my mediocre grades wouldn't get me anywhere near this programme. I requested to teach Chemistry/Physics even though my Physics obtained a C grade while my math obtained a B grade. Nonetheless, I literally jumped for joy when they offered me Chemistry/Physics at Secondary interview and my interview was on the 25th of November, a day after Alevels.

Fast forward, it was the day of my interview. It was a round table interview with 6 other interviewees, a principal and a MOE officer. We were grouped according to subjects. It was basically my first official after leaving SA. Though it was an interview, it was an interesting discussion. Some of the questions posed were as such:

1. The reasons for participating in this internship stint
2. What are some difficulties do you think you will face during the internship?
3. How will you convince your cooperating teacher to approve your classroom activity?
4. What do you feel about the use of social media in today's world? (Context: as a teacher)
5. Do you think teachers should exert violence (mild) on students? 

The interview was an hour long though it didn't feel like an hour long!

A month later, I was notified that I was posted to CHIJ Toa Payoh and 2015 came. I went down to Toa Payoh before my 3 days of training. 

The Training

Day 1- How to introduce myself, interview skills, attire and behavior. Basically- administrative matters.

Day 2 &3- The training was held at NUS School of Engineering. There, I learnt the attributes of a teacher, how a teacher should behave in front of his/her students and the basic values of teaching and the mission of MOE's education. It helped me understand the curriculum better as to the reason why it is structured the way it is. I also caught a glimpse where different difficult situations arise and how we should handle them so that the students will not be at the losing end. It sound easy, yet in reality, NO. I also learnt the values of assessments, homework and testing. There are different types of questions to test different thinking levels and the depth at which students understand the topic. Writing lesson plans was an important part and the importance of having a goal at the end of the lesson- Learning Objectives, Specific Instructional Objectives (The ones on our syllabus outcome). A teacher must learn to evoke response, to get a student to reflect on their actions using different languages or peer pressure which I could draw similarity to the different methods my teachers employed in school. It sounded easy. Really.  

The Internship
There are many valuable lessons and insights into the education system that I gained during the 2 months spent in IJTP. It has affirmed my aspirations for teaching. Initially, I felt a tad weird during the first 2 weeks as it really hit me that I'm not a student anymore. Gone were those days I sat in front of the classroom and take notes diligently. I had to adjust to having students thank or greet me and I felt extremely weird whenever a student shout 'Ms Ang' across the corridor.

The first 4 weeks were spent observing my supervisors/Co-operating Teachers for Chemistry and Physics- how they conducted their lessons and how they question students in general. I observed how they give instructions to the class and their body language. The teaching methods used by my teachers vary and I was glad to be exposed and really notice 2 different types of teaching. My Chem CT usually starts with slides, followed by worksheets to be done in class while my Physics CT focused more on questions in the textbook, workbook and worksheets, only highlighting the content that is essential to take note of.

Both CTs have their own peculiar ways when it comes enforcing expectations and rules. My Physics CT will make students stay back to complete their homework. My Chemistry CT conducts file checks while they're having CTs so that they will fill up whatever blanks they have on their papers, ensuring that they studied for them. Students are to stand up whenever their work is not completed. These are a few of the many methods used. I picked up some as I go for relief classes.

I went for a number of relief classes across a variety of subjects- English, Chinese, POA, Mathematics, Malay, Geography and Social Studies- unbeknownst to myself where I became a a teacher that teach every subject available when students asked me to help them in their given assignments. Some classes would negotiate with me to release them for early recess or to submit their lessons the next day. i.e. to take back as homework and to play in class. Initially, I would. I was in their shoes! Then I realised that it wasn't the right way to go. I started setting expectations.

• 1 person is allowed to go to the toilet each time
• I employed the 正 method. A stroke will be on the bored if their noise level is beyond acceptable. Should the Chinese character be completed, I will not hesitate to hold them back for another 5 minutes. 
• Peer pressure. I told the class to finish the given work by a certain time and if one do not submit, the entire class stays. 

Conducting lessons was not as easy as what I thought. People would say 'memorise the answer, read it' or 'read from the slides'. I must say, this is definitely not the right way to go. I was a boring teacher. 

For chemistry, I was not engaging at all. I was not able to scaffold simple concepts without content overload. I learnt that Chemical Bonding wasn't as easy as what I thought. In fact, I loved that topic! Yet, I realised many found it hard to visualise 'tetrahedral' until I showed the model of the molecule. The difference between intermolecular and intramolecular was not easy to explain using words either. It took me some time to become more comfortable. Besides, I can't drone on about the bonding and those electrons to obtain some auspicious number 8 that we always teach. Hands on work is essential and allowing students to come to realise a certain property will be easier. Another method was showing videos on structures instead of textbook pictures as it is easier to visualise that way. Teaching at a secondary level was rather tricky as I cannot give too much information while I'm expected to ensure that the subject is not boring. Preventing misconceptions from the start is really one of the most important factor. Recaps are a must before lessons start proper. Towards the end, I went straight to using models and analogies to explain concepts. What slides? Classroom Activities are a must too!

Phyiscs wise was surprisingly easier as there are many phenomenon when it comes to explaining concepts of force and moments. Class practice is important in a way as I used to struggle with physics and had my own secret stash of shortcuts when it comes to applying concepts. I did not teach a specific topic per se. As physics is my second teaching subject, I teach part of different topics, mark worksheets, CAs and go through them in class. The marking was not as easy as what I thought. Some times, I wondered what I taught in class as there were many creative answers, new lab instruments and new theories made in their answers. I was like them years back. Looking for careless mistakes meant staring at those workings as some added denominators and I wasn't sure how to bring them up in the next lesson. I had to identify systematic common misconceptions made on paper and I have to clarify them before the CAs. 

Classroom management was fine as the classes I've been to have obedient students who listen to the rules listed. It was really hard for me to scold due to incomplete work as I wasn't the main teacher. Well, should I be given the chance again, I'll definitely scold and set my own expectations at the start of the year and follow through. 

CCA wise was an eyeopening experience. I was never in a sports CCA. Yet, I was assigned to be a teacher-in-charge of netball. I had no idea what the requirements for sports CCA were and the responsibilities a teacher has to undertake. Netball was their niche CCA and so the girls had a lot of training sessions. It was really tiring for them as one told me that she couldn't find time to study for her CA. I felt helpless as all I could do was to advise her on time management. I observed how the other teachers motivated the girls and looked after their welfare. Missing their lessons so they can follow the girls out on competitions and ensuring their safety are one of the many things teachers have to do. I didn't notice my teachers effort till then. They do not just take their attendance!!! I was so proud when their hard work paid off as they managed to clinch the South Zone Champion title and move on to the national championships. 

All in all, I was glad when my students thanked me and said that I've inspired them to study harder. (Phew, I thought I was useless.) Given another chance, I'll start on the right foot and find the right method to teach as quickly as possible. Different classes have different learning styles. Lesson plans cannot be used throughout the cohort but to be tailored accordingly. I am truly humbled to be given this opportunity.