Sometimes, I Just have to grow up

I am a conscious living being, capable of making rational decisions. I am 19 and I am desperately trying to break away from the little girl image that I've been holding to for 19 years. And I have failed. Sometimes, it is really nice to have all attention on you and sometimes, it is simply just hard to change the way I behave unconsciously. Yet, my thoughts do not reflect one of a 16 year old girl and I strongly believe that my own opinion matters. Yet again, I do not voice them out. What will I do if I voice them out? Will I get into trouble?

While I want to grow up so that I can be free of other people imposing their opinions on me, there is still a part of me who doesn't want to break away from this good little girl image. I am sure that there is a way to compromise such opinions and I just have to find the guts to voice it out.

Dear friends, if you happen to be reading this, please don't think that I'm going to die or do anything dangerous or whatsoever. It's just a random thought that came across my mind as I continue to type my essay on reality and appearance.