Year 2 Semester 1

This came a little too late. I mean- Year 2 Semester 1 has ended exactly a month ago.

Pardon my belated post as Year 2 Semester 1 was an emotional wreckage and has taken a toll on my emotional health. I've spent the past month recovering with the help of my friends. :-) 

First and foremost, I've lost my motivation to study. I wasn't interested in studying as I regret my decision to enter NUS to pursue a degree in Chemistry. Ironically, I had taken an interest in academia and am really interested in pursuing a teaching career in the future. I wasn't able to see "why" I was doing what I was doing as I had little interest in a research career. 

I honestly didn't think I would have gotten these grades without the help of my fellow Chem major friends and my tutees. My tutees (3 A levels and 1 N level)  have spurred me to put a spin to what I've learnt in school to apply in lessons with many "did you know". 

Though they're mediocre and pale in comparison when compared with others, I must say I am satisfied. My grades took a slide from a first class to a very stable second uppers, requiring a number of Bs to fall below 4.00. 

Current CAP: 4.17

Approx no. of As to pull up to 4.5: 7

Approx no. of Bs to pull down to 3.99: 7

1) CM2142 Analytical Chemistry 1 

I've truly enjoyed this module. In fact, this is the only module I've done well for this semester. Prof Jason Yeo has taught this module such that has enabled me to see "why Chemistry" and the objective uses of Chemistry. Using what I've learnt from this module, I was able to clearly explain to my tutees different uses of Chemistry and to meet the objective of the 'A' level chemistry syllabus stating that 

"Experimental work is an important component and should underpin the teaching and learning of Chemistry" - MOE & UCLES, 2014

I must admit that I skipped almost every lecture as it was at 8am and I 1/8 into the semester I was sleeping at 4am almost everyday.

2) CM2101 Physical Chemistry 2
I expected better for this module but I've a decent grade (B+) considering that I literally broke down before the paper. I was under a lot of stress as my carelessness during my CA which has caused me be on top of the bell curve. My desire to get an A- has resulted in a breakdown. I was unable to distinguish "P" and "R" branch and was not able to recall any formula or definition I have memorised. For CT and Hongsy has pulled me through during that morning and afternoon that I did not blank out during my finals and I am certain I performed my very best during finals.
What this module taught me was to be careful, sleep earlier and do not study at the last minute. Finals was at 5pm and I was completely jittery throughout the day.
On a lighter note- this module has taught me how to "see" molecules. Using that I've learnt, I've spun it into simpler terms for my tutees who question "how I know sia."

3) CM2192 Experiments in Chemistry 3 (Analytical and Physical) 
This is probably the most stressful module ever that I've taken in NUS. There were 10 lab reports (average 3%), 1 written test (2 components- Analytical and physical), 2 viva voce and 2 practical examinations. It was the module that required most of my attention other wise known as "Extremely Attention Seeking". I dreaded 6 hours every week (followed by 2 hours of tutorial) and usually ended my day by vegetating on my bed after lab.
I had immense difficulty with this module as I did not know what I was doing at times. I recall distinctly when my first lab session was on HPLC and I didn't understand what was going on as I did not learnt HPLC before. Moreover, I wrote a long report on gas chromatography without learning it under CM2142. I felt as if I was living in constant nightmare as I started with analytical basket first (earlier in the semester) as I was confused and was under immense pressure to perform. For the analytical component, I procrastinated my lab reports as I was unable to understand what was going on and left them to the last 5 days before the submission. That was 5 reports in 5 days. It was impossible and I cried on some nights as I was horrified as I had no one to ask (my friends did physical first).
Looking back, I've truly learnt a lot from this module as I managed to see how theory is being applied to practice. It was rather stupid of me to be under immense stress because I actually did pretty well. I scored a B+ for this module and my lab reports were rather well written (Average: b/w B+ & A-) & my written tests too. Regardless, I felt that I've learnt a lot under this module. In fact, (this sounds cliche) google has helped me a lot with "how to xxxx excel cell" etc and helped me understand certain concepts. I'm just glad I survived. :-)
Likewise, I've used what I've learnt in lab to explain SPA to my students :-)
Oh and I'm very confident of excel. #selftaught

4) UHB2207 Language, Cognition and Culture
My first arts inquiry just went by. I'm currently left with 3 arts inquiry modules. I'm extremely grateful for Prof Peter Vail as prior to this course, I've never imagined myself studying linguistics and the issues prevailing language. I've enjoyed my papers as the three papers were truly interesting and exciting :-) I've analysed my use of Singlish in lessons and how it affects the way I way I think when I deliver lessons, reasons for switching to Singlish and my gestures which follows my codeswitch to Singlish.
For an arts inquiry, I'm extremely happy with my B+ because I'm not good at writing. Not to mention, I actually enjoyed writing my papers.
A key take away from LCC is that Singlish has syntax and therefore it can be counted as a language and there is such thing as bad Singlish. While some may say,

"Through language I can learn culture"

the Nicole now, disagrees. This module has raised my awareness regarding the choice of words central to this issue. It has taught me to raise questions critically and carefully which I would say it's one of my greatest take away for this module apart from being aware of how Singlish could be useful in teaching (though, largely frowned upon by the government).

5) UNL2206 Nature's Threads
A science inquiry which aims to weave the development of ideas from Faraday to Maxwell and finally, Einstein. It was a rather disappointing science module as it wasn't like a science module at all! Rather, it felt like a philosophy module with 60-70% of the module based on the history of ideas. There was very little problem solving even lesser emphasis on writing the report from our experiments on static electricity and the calculating of the speed of light.
However, I've truly enjoyed the hands on experiment and attempting to explain the observed phenomena first hand based on the theory learnt. I would not want to have a refresher on static electricity and magnetism another way. It was very different from the way I've learnt for 'O' levels (via pen and paper) and provided many insights. Yet, upon reaching special relativity, there was very little emphasis on problem solving (different from the way I learnt in PC1144) and it felt very glossy and unlike science.
Nonetheless, I've enjoyed learning how physicists in the past conceive the ideas we deem as arbitrary/lame/useless/simple today and I've learnt how to appreciate this development of ideas. :-)


I survived year 2 semester 1. My most grueling semester ever and will not be the only one. Upon changing my perspective midway through the semester, the modules in this semester has rather shaped my direction towards in academia and I'll do my very best to either maintain my CAP or improve my CAP.

Lessons learnt: 
1) Time management 
I was sleeping at 4am almost everyday and woke up at 10am/10.30am. It was terrible as I even missed breakfast on some days.
I chose to stay till 4am because I seldom study in the morning before class starts.
10 hours of tuition a week was enjoyable, albeit too much
2) Social interaction + Goal 
When I've found a goal, studying was so much easier.
I chose to study with my friends during the finals period as it was much easier for my mental health. I'm sure I'll miss this in year 3 when everyone else goes on exchange- when you're bored and everyone else is bored and start chatting. It simply brightens up my mood. :-) Not to mention the emotional support.

For the next semester, I've signed up for less academic stuff which I hope will pull me through the semester.
And I need to exercise more frequently too.

On a final note, I'll like to thank Shao, Crazy Bijez, USCanSER and #15-100 for a wonderful semester. May the next semester be a more fulfilling one for everyone.

Ocamp'16

USC Ocamp'16 is the third camp I ran, this time as vice project-director (Camp commander and camp OIC previously). There were a few questions my close friends (those who ran the other 2 camps alongside with me) asked as I complained more than I ate over the last 2 months which made me reflect during the process and after execution from time to time. 

Firstly, I would like to say that I didn't get this role through an interview. It was through cronyism. My PD, Jileen, employed me as VPD  because I am her good friend with experience. I had initial intentions to join Logistics as I knew logistics was always the hardest and everyone needed LOGs. Yet, it was hard to say no when the opportunity to take on a better role showed up right before my face. Therefore, I chose to join as Ocamp'16 Vpd instead.

Comparing this camp to my previous 2 camps, I felt that this role was significantly harder this time round due to funding restrictions, protocols to adhere to and also because I was never a vice or assistant before. I found it difficult to check with my PD before making a decision as I always made decisions on my own. There was no teacher to advise us and to help us with the official documents. Essentially, I learnt that I am a micro-manager. It takes a micro-manager to know another. Thus, I learnt to take a step back, to strike a balance between micro-managing and macro-managing. 

The importance of PR. The process of planning FOP and the planning of Ocamp has both burnt bridges completely and partially. There was a need to satisfy the people on the ground. And there will be an earthquake when the ground isn't satisfied. Jileen describes this phenomena as, "I heard rumblings from the ground a day ago. I did not expect an earthquake." There were many incidents that parallel modern day politics. There was also a need to satisfy the direct higher-ups. The structure of FOP comm and the chain of command was basically a simple school camp commitee, blown up to a larger scale. Moving up the FOP comm, there's NUSSU. This may seem irrelevant but looking back, my camp comm 2 years back seems really puny as compared to FOP comm this time round. 

Cronyism. Working with friends was an issue as I had to be careful in order not to burn any bridges in any direction. Cronyism could be an advantage if you work well with your friends and a major disadvantage if you can't work well with your friends. It was genuinely a problem for me (I'm really sorry) as there was a difference in certain views and work ethics that made me extremely irritable. I just couldn't convey it for I know my friend well. It was the bridge that I had to hold which irritated me further. 

The temper I never knew existed. I blew up at my friend twice in a short span of 2 weeks. I didn't know such a monster could exist in me. I never once blew up in the classroom, at my students and at my friends. Now that I am aware of its existence, I am extremely wary of it. 

What ticked me off: Accountability. 

People who are not accountable irritated me. I just didn't understand why some people couldn't just reply or send a text stating that they're late and the reason for being late. Some people could ignore 5 different people asking the same question. Some people just go absent halfway through an activity without any reason, only to come back acting like nothing had happened.

For that, I knew that I will never want to work with someone who is not accountable. This is a trait I will want to pass on to my students and friends. With this, I conclude that accountability comes responsibility.  

As cliche as it sounds, communication was a key take away too. From simple actions to forwarding emails to complicated actions such as explaining action plans and the dissemination of last minute information could result in annoyance. For us, we had a bot to disseminate information to CVOGLs. On one hand, it was good as it reduces spamming in group chats. Yet, many people disseminating information through the bot at the same time was confusing. It was an abuse of communication channels and would be a big problem if not handled carefully. What happened during camp was the conflicting information sent out regarding an update of the timing. It made things very complicated and confusing. Therefore, I brought up in the AAR that only one person should disseminate information through the bot during the course of the event to prevent any miscomms. The heads should discuss before disseminating information rather than 3 people sending 3 different things. It worked for the subsequent few days and I think its a major learning point for everyone as communication channels are essentially very advanced these days and any misuse can result in poorer communication and not better communication.

Always plan for the worst. We overlooked wet weather plan which landed us in some extremely hot soup. The weather forecast stated that there would be thunderstorms during beach day. I was anxious. And it really cost us our sleep the night before. We had to come up with an entirely detailed action plan during the night games into the wee hours. I thought to myself: There was no way I could forget about the wet weather (in particularly- when travelling to sentosa). Moreover this was the 3rd camp I ran. Ms Ho, my JC CCA teacher in-charge, always told me that if I fail to plan, I plan to fail. Yes, it's a common saying and I overlooked it. Despite all that, I am grateful that we didn't have to activate wet weather plan and I was glad we just didn't have to. Above all that, wet weather plan is extremely important in Singapore and is not meant to be forgotten.

And never do things at the last minute. Always be aware of the deadlines. 

Nonetheless, many bonds were formed along the way during the camp. The constant feedback loop between the OGLs and the comm has helped us to improve our games. The number of people I've spoken to during that 4 days was a lot more than the number of people I've spoken to during the second half of the semester. It's never too late to learn new things and I'm glad to be given this chance. All hail cronyism. Kidding. Thanks Jilee. 

Summer has finally begun. The past two months brought quite a bit of tears to my eyes, awoken the monster in me and was tiring for me. I just want to say a big thank you for everyone's support though no one is going to read this and a big thank you to camp comm for being part of my summer, for the emotional support, the physical support (lel LOGs) and making my summer a meaningful one. We've come a long way since the moment this comm was formed and more significantly, since OGL camp. 

It's time for me to wind down and rest for the next 3 weeks. 

#FOPneverENDS

______________________________________________________________________________

What was left out: 

1) Organisation of LOGs

LOGs team played an extremely important role in terms of telling us how visible our LOGs were 

2) Safety 

Apart from wet weather that we missed out, every activity was planned with safety in mind. 

I may sound passive aggressive but I'm actually being neutral here. Everything stated is exactly as what I observe to happen.

Psst It has been 2 days since I last stepped out of the house, first time this year and it feels great!!! 

Wah Cannot Tahan

It's only the FIRST paper!

Amidst writing and rewriting my own draft for Writing and Critical Thing, a compulsory writing module offered by USP, I was more inspired to write a blog post.

As one can see, I do not have a thesis statement and a motive but my post title says it all.

Problems such as not being able to fully understand the given text, come up with a thesis statement and an interesting motives have frustrated me for the past 5 days. Despite having written my thesis and 3 body paragraphs, I felt that my essay is a load of crap and a complete mess as I start to question my own spelling of a certain word that appears frequently in my essay.

This module is really time consuming and anyone who knows me knows that I would rather prove my equations for special relativity or reading up on delocalisation and conjugation or even learning my biochem properly. Yet, I felt that I've learnt the most in terms of skills for this module thus far which was better than the other compulsory module I took last semester on quantitative reasoning.

I guess it is time for me to look at this module in a positive light. It's time for me to brush up on my writing for once.

And I spent 20 minutes reflecting on an ongoing module.

Back to restructuring my essay.